Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Mama always told me…

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Most of the time, I ignore these words of wisdom. But it seems that it’s taking a few of you a while to catch on and understand that these days I’m really, really trying.

Bottom line: I am NOT feeling well. No, not as in sick, or ill. I’m mentally retarded just now and I honestly have little nice to say about much. So I’m keeping my mouth shut as best I can. Maybe it’s respect for this month. Maybe it’s respect for myself. Maybe I’m just too fucking tired to bother with you all. I have no idea. But I do know I can’t be bothered.

Some of you just don’t seem to get it. I have no interest in your blogging debates. I have no interest in your whispered words; especially when you’re attempting to use my blog to spread malicious rumors. I have no interest in who’s fucking who or who’s done what. I don’t give a shit what you have to say if it’s along these lines.

I hardly even log in here anymore. I rarely have anything to say. Though there have been a few serious things on my mind when it comes to this place. An idea of what? Perhaps I owe MD an apology? Perhaps a few people around here owe me one? Perhaps, some things will never change and that shouldn’t bother me so much? Perhaps, I should just stay silent a little longer, until I pull myself together a little better?

I screamed at a few people today. I screamed my little heart out; not about them or something they did but about other stuff, that’s completely irrelevant to them. I ignored a really, really, really good friends email because my eyes grew tired while reading it; despite the fact that I really wanted to know what was happening on her end. I ignored a short email the other day because when I hit the reply button, my mind went blank and not a word was to be found.

And you still can’t let up.

I don’t expect you to get it; none of you. But I’m not myself and I don’t want to deal with this shit any longer. B asked me today if I was ever going to get back to the old me. I don’t know. I don’t even know who the fuck I am right now. Maybe this is just a part of the ‘always changing and always staying the same’ motto that I seem to live by. Who cares? Not me. All I care about right now is getting over whatever the hell it is I’m thinking and feeling. Maybe then, I’ll give a shit about you.

Thank YOU BALUSHI. For posting something that temporarily took my mind off things. And People!!! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO VOTE UNTIL MOST NOMINEES HAVE MADE A STATEMENT!


Blogger * said...

OII !! I made my sales pitch!
VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME. Go on u know u want to!

Girl: Whats going on and whats wrong with you. Yes snap outta it. Listen we cant all be orphans in Malawi waiting for Madonna to adopt us.

9:10 PM, October 18, 2006  
Blogger Sex and Dubai said...

Tainted sounds to us like you need some serious RETAIL or CHOCOLATE therapy. Ice cream might work too.

Yes PEOPLE! you can't vote until you have read ALL nominees statements. Mine to follow shortly when I get a break from work! argh!

9:44 AM, October 19, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

TF: One of those days, when nothing makes sense.

I've been there, just had a false alarm last Thursday but thank God, it was just a false alarm.

You take care & keep your head up!

Be cool :D

10:30 AM, October 19, 2006  
Blogger black feline said...

Im not too well can I not be on the Oscars List? it's a conspiracy! no category for best creature or something along the line? I hate u madam...i know u did it on purpose because I spat at Lassie your favorite wimp! Boo to all! Im staying away for a long time until justice prevails!

2:08 PM, October 19, 2006  
Blogger babe_uae said...

I think I will keep my mobile definatley on silent until a new mood prevails, glad to hear that you are having a better day today, just send me an sms when you are going to rant so that I can put cotton in my ears



3:21 PM, October 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can really relate to that mood i get it quite often but I didn't know it was contagious. Not caring about stuff is fine as long as you still care about yourself. So take care - we'll talk when I get back

3:45 PM, October 19, 2006  
Blogger purchasewoods said...

Big hug. xx

8:03 AM, October 20, 2006  
Blogger MASS said...

Who ever believes in Allah and the day of judgment then, speak good or be silent

you have no respect for this month
nor you have respect for yourself!

you are not feeling well and will never feel will till you die in misery,, coz you turn your back on Allah and constantly do so.. when Allah constantly opens his hand for you

Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

"Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped.

"And follow the Best of (the courses) revealed to you from your Lord, before the Penalty comes on you - of a sudden while ye perceive not! -

"Lest the soul should (then) say: `Ah! woe is me! in that I neglected (my Duty) towards Allah, and was but among those who mocked!'

"Or (lest) it should say: 'If only Allah had guided me, I should certainly have been among the righteous!'

"Or (lest) it should say when it (actually) sees the Penalty: 'If only I had another chance, I should certainly be among those who do good!'

"(The reply will be:) 'Nay, but there came to thee My Signs, and thou didst reject them: thou wast haughty, and became one of those who reject Faith!'"

On the Day of Judgment wilt thou see those who told lies against Allah; their faces will be turned black; is there not in Hell an abode for the Haughty?

But Allah will deliver the righteous to their place of salvation: no evil shall touch them, nor shall they grieve.

9:13 AM, October 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


you have no respect for this month
nor you have respect for yourself!

you are not feeling well and will never feel will till you die in misery,,
coz you turn your back on Allah and constantly do so.. when Allah constantly opens his hand for you”

Did Allah make you the judge of all things and people? Mashallah. That’s quite the job!

Everyone else, thanks for the patience, the emails, etc. I’m feeling much better today and in fact, I’ve got something pretty to post. But blogger seems to be down.

7:46 AM, October 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


you have no respect for this month
nor you have respect for yourself!

you are not feeling well and will never feel will till you die in misery,,
coz you turn your back on Allah and constantly do so.. when Allah constantly opens his hand for you”

Did Allah make you the judge of all things and people? Mashallah. That’s quite the job!

Everyone else, thanks for the patience, the emails, etc. I’m feeling much better today and in fact, I’ve got something pretty to post. But blogger seems to be down.

7:47 AM, October 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Q8i… Reason’s you can NOT judge another:

Narrated Abu Huraira
The Prophet said, "While a dog was going round a well and was about todie of thirst, an Israeli prostitute saw it and took off her shoe and watered it. So Allah forgave her because of that good deed."

An Israeli prostitute is forgiven for feeding a Dog. Do you know how many dying animals I may or may not have taken care of; nursed back to health? No, you don’t. And I’m certainly not a prostitute.

Narrated Abu Said

The Prophet mentioned a man from the people of the past or those who preceded you. The Prophet said a sentence meaning: Allah had given himwealth and children. When his death approached, he said to his sons, "What kind of father have I been to you?" They replied, "You have beena good father." He told them that he had not presented any good deed before Allah, and if Allah should get hold of him He would punish him.' "So look!" he added, "When I die, burn me, and when I turn into coal, crush me, and when there comes a windy day, scatter my ashes in the wind." The Prophet added, "Then by Allah, he took a firm promise from his children to do so, and they did so. (They burnt him after hisdeath) and threw his ashes on a windy day. Then Allah commanded to hisashes. "Be," and behold! He became a man standing! Allah said, "O My slave! What made you do what you did?" He replied, "For fear of You." Nothing saved him then but Allah's Mercy (So Allah forgave him).

A no good man is forgiven because of his deep fear of Allah. Do you know the depth of my fear? No, you don’t.

Narrated Abu Huraira

The Prophet said, "There was a merchant who used to lend the people, and whenever his debtor was in straitened circumstances, he would say to his employees, 'Forgive him so that Allah may forgive us.' So, Allah forgave him."

You don’t know how many debts I’ve forgiven either?

Narrated Samura bin Jundab

Allah's Apostle said, "Tonight two (visitors) came to me (in my dream)and took me to a town built with gold bricks and silver bricks. There we met men who, half of their bodies, look like the most-handsome human beings you have ever seen, and the other half, the ugliest humanbeings you have ever seen. Those two visitors said to those men, 'Go and dip yourselves in that river. So they dipped themselves therein and then came to us, their ugliness having disappeared and they were in the most-handsome shape. The visitors said, 'The first is the Garden of Eden and that is your dwelling place.' Then they added, 'As for those people who were half ugly and half handsome, they were thosewho mixed good deeds and bad deeds, but Allah forgave them."

Humm… I suppose you don’t know whether or not I’m half good and half bad or fully bad, either.

With all do respect for you and your Islamic learning, I have to say harsh judgment (like in your last comments) from someone like you, someone who should know better, does no one any good. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth towards you and makes you look like a mean spirited fanatic, to those who don’t understand Islam in the slightest.

’ 6:57 Say: "Behold, I take my stand on a clear evidence from my Sustainer-and [so] it is to Him that you are giving the lie! Not in my power is that which [in your ignorance] you so hastily demand: [47] judgment rests with none but God. He shall declare the truth, since it is He who is the best judge between truth and falsehood."’

95:8 Is not God the most just of judges?

May God forgive us all, Inshallah.

2:62 VERILY, those who have attained to faith [in this divine writ], as well as those who follow the Jewish faith, and the Christians, and the Sabians [49] -all who believe in God and the Last Day and do righteous deeds-shall have their reward with their Sustainer; and no fear need they have, and neither shall they grieve.

8:35 AM, October 21, 2006  
Blogger inmotion said...

hope you're feeling better :)

and kuwaiti back off .. she did say if u have something nice to say say it if u don't just zip it..

balushi it was the prophet that said that

1:37 AM, October 22, 2006  
Blogger purchasewoods said...

Good for you! Not only do you stand-up for what you are but what you believe and in doing so you show others what is true in ALL aspects.


7:35 AM, October 22, 2006  
Blogger MASS said...

asalamu aleykum

it is really enough and suffice that you judge yourself,,

being hopeful towards Allah's mercy is what ought to be translated in actions..

if you have respect for this month which is almost over then why do you swear

if you love Allah, why do you disobey him

why did Abu Bakr may Allah be pleased with him, say if I only had one foot in heaven then i still am not safe from going to hell

how come that you are so hopeful when you openly sin, what Allah calls Fisq
when Omar ibn al khattab said, if Allah was to put all people in heaven and say one is going to hell
then I would be afraid that it would be me.

you really think that you can misinterpret ayat and make your self feel better
by Allah you know what you do is wrong,
and you will have to face it yourself, and make not my harshness impede you from it, perhaps it is better than sweet tones which make you much procrastinate more

you thank the others for being patient,, subhan Allah,, the others are only acknowledging your actions,, not only that but only encourage evil,

I did not judge that you are going to hell or heaven, this is only in the hands of Allah,, but surely Allah sets forth verses about the believers so we be like them,,and of the hypocrites so we avoid them

49] Tell My servants that I am indeed the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful,

[50] And that My Penalty will be indeed the most grievous Penalty.

yes Allah is the most merciful but his torment is unbearable
you cant play one ayah alone

and unless you start to seriously consider your way of life and the environment you put yourself in you will keep falling and falling

you think all these people who claim to care for you on these blogs really do??
then why do they not give you advice??

and if they did they would not be engaging in such posts full of things that displease Allah

look at your blog which is a least a partial reflection,, how many posts would please Allah and how many would anger Him, yet how many are even made for his sake, which all our actions ought to be

it only takes some courage and trust in Allah,, something at some point has to change to put your self back on track

you know what you have to do, just dont let saytan keep open side doors for you,

say Alhamdullelah that actually there is some one who gives you advice,

Allah says

If Allah had found in them any good, He would indeed have made them listen: (as it is), if He had made them listen, they would but have turned back and declined (faith).

that means that if there was no good in you Allah would have not let me write you this comment, in fact Allah wants you to hear,, beacuse there is good in you
and anyone who reads this..

yet it doesnt stop at here,, read the next ayah which says :

O ye who believe! give your response to Allah and His Messenger, when He calleth you to that which will give you life

3:47 PM, October 22, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


I appreciate your advice. But this, “you have no respect for this month
nor you have respect for yourself!

you are not feeling well and will never feel will till you die in misery
is not advice. This is judgment, borderline future prediction. And you are also aware that no one, not even the Jinn is capable of predicting the future with any accuracy.

Continue believing you’re better than me while using your tongue in different but just as sinful ways. It will not change the fact that we’ll both be judged by the same God and with the same guidelines.

May you be blessed through Eid and ever-after Inshallah.

7:32 PM, October 22, 2006  
Blogger MASS said...

124] "But whosoever turns away from My Message, verily for him is a life narrowed down, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Judgment."

[125] He will say: "O my Lord! why hast thou raised me up blind, while I had sight (before)?"

[126] (Allah) will say: "Thus didst thou, when Our Signs came unto thee, disregard them: so wilt thou, this day, be disregarded."

[127] And thus do We recompense him who transgresses beyond bounds and believes not in the Signs of his Lord: and the Penalty of the Hereafter is far more grievous and more enduring.

[128] It is not a warning to such men (to call to mind) how many generations before them We destroyed, in whose haunts they (now) move? Verily, in this are Signs for men endued with understanding,

10:42 PM, October 22, 2006  
Blogger MASS said...

asalamu aleykum

i would like to apologise for what i said that bothered you i shouldve not said it

i am not here to put you down
salamu aleykum

3:57 AM, October 23, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

No need Q8i.

It's forgiven, forgotten and in the past. But since you offered one, I shall too. Forgive me for any upsets, please.

Enjoy your Eid.

8:11 AM, October 23, 2006  

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