You BUG me… Yes, I mean YOU.

If you are any of the following you bug me, so FUCK OFF!:

On the roads:

• The twat driving under the speed limit in the fast lane though ALL the fucking lanes to your right are either, moving at the same speed as you or are FUCKING EMPTY.


• The impatient idiot pressing on his fucking horn the SECOND the light turns green. May your engine fall out from your car and your mobile’s battery be dead at this time; postponing your journey just a little more.


• The parent who thinks it alright to let their children bounce/jump/stand/otherwise-unrestrained in the car while driving down the street. May you, particularly you, be cursed with some torturous disease that makes it impossible for you to conceive again.


• The slick idiot who thinks driving fast means driving recklessly. Listen FUCK FACE, when I pass you on the left as you slam on the breaks for a ‘radar’, it’s because I KNOW the fucking thing is an empty BOX without a camera. I am NOT challenging you to a race, nor am requesting that you try and ‘out-drive’ me as you weave dangerously in and out of cars to that invisible finish line. There’s a HUGE difference between driving fast and driving recklessly, and yeah I’m fast, but NOT in the middle of traffic where other people’s lives are in danger. And you thinking I’ll be impressed by you idiocy is enough to make me want to strip you naked and leave you in the middle of Citicenter after tattooing your ass with, “Enter HERE for I need to be FUCKED”.

In the News Papers:

• The critic who can’t take criticism. It amazes me how many of your foreign twats bitch about the local customs without considering the insults you bestow upon the local population, who swallow it all quietly. Learn about the fucking culture of the country you’re in, fix yourself, only then should you attempt to better, or bitch about the society here.


• The journalist who doesn’t know how to use spell check, can’t structure a proper English sentence, and thinks it’s alright to publish slang in a serious news article. YOU are half the reason the media here is an international joke. If you work for Khaleej Times, stay there; no one expects it to ever get any better. If you’re in any other publication, quit your job and take up porn; people might take you more serious then. And it’s less painful to get plastic surgery to tighten sagging body parts than it is to actually LEARN about the career path you’ve chosen.

In person (or personality)

• Know-it-alls. Now listen here, you dumb fuck; I may not be perfect, but I’m certainly better than you, so SHUT THE FUCK UP! It’s IMPOSSIBLE that you know something about everything under the moon, and that fact that you constantly ramble like you do, only makes the relevant shit you might have to say blend with the irrelevant until none of it gets heard. If you closed your trap for just a second, you might learn why NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU.


• Whiners. These ones really get to me. If you have FUCK ALL positive to say, and choose to be constantly depressed, you might as well jump off a building now and spare everyone else’s ears from your melodramatic, loathsome tales. No ONE wants to hear it. The earth DOES NOT revolve around you, and believe it or not, the shit you think you’ve been through or are going through, ISN’T THE WORST FUCKING THING SINCE Brittney Spears. PEOPLE DO HAVE, AND HAVE HAD IT WORSE. So stop your bitching and do something about it.


• Racism Addicts. You think the world is out to get you because you were born of a certain skin color. You can NOT accept that shit happens to you just because it happens and the same would have happened TO ANY OTHER SKIN COLOR in your place. YOU CREATE MORE RACISM than what already exists; and for that, I’m bias against YOU.

I suppose this is enough for now. But this certainly isn’t the end of my list. As I’m sure you can see, I’m in a shitty mood this morning and to be honest, there’s NO FUCKING REASON for it. So don’t bother asking me what’s wrong. Chances are, it’ll become YOU, if you do.