Saturday, May 20, 2006

Bear None, Bear All – Intensified Attraction

This entry has been inspired by Emirati’s recent entry.

I should start by informing you all I was once very good at dressing in proper accordance with Islamic laws. I would cover my face on occasion, especially if I was headed somewhere where the male population was certain to outnumber the female, or if I were on some particular day, wearing more make-up than I deemed appropriate in public.

These days, I’m not nearly as good, modest or even religiously proper.

I still wear Abaya (cloak) and Shayla (head scarf), but it’s more because I’m used to it than anything else. Often, you’ll find my Shalya dropped across my shoulders and not on my head. I’m stating this beforehand, so I don’t get any calls from you all about what a hypocrite I am for bringing this topic up. I’d remove it all together for a number of reasons, but change isn’t easy, and there’s a lot that has to be considered for a girl who has voluntarily worn Islamic Hijab for more than 7 years. I bet finding comfortable work, or even a social circle would be easier if I were to just take the thing off, huh?

Anyway, I and a few of my friends have found that women in Niqab (the veil that completely covers the face) get MORE unwanted attention then when we're not wearing it. Even those Niqab's that cover your eyes FULLY, seem to entice a certain bread of gawking men.

There's nothing like walking around partially blind, unable to breathe, listening to some twat shout at you, “Mumkin nta’arif?” (Pretty much means, “Can I get to know you?”) Or even better, random numbers shouted across lanes of traffic, is another favorite pick up line for the covered. And yes, it happens with girls who are unveiled or partially veiled as well. But when you’ve completely covered, it almost feels like more of an insult.

I’ve been followed while driving a car with 70% tint, while wearing a Niqab, from Ajman to Dubai. Granted, this was a few years ago; the same still goes. There’s an attractive mystery to the unseen that makes curiosity burn and enhances desire.

A friend of mine was standing outside a hospital talking in fluent (local accent) Arabic to her husband on the phone, concerning whatever medical situation was happening inside with her relatives. She of course, was covered from head to toe. When she finally closed the phone, a man came up to her side and said, “Finally. I’ve been waiting for you to get off the phone. My number is…”

Showing all or showing nothing at all, seem to have very similar effects.

Thus the rule of modesty is necessary. I don’t believe in the Saudi traditions of covering all, all the time. I do believe there are times, when covering your face is useful, and even preferable. Being incognito has certain advantages; I’m sure you can coin a few of them on your own, even when we’re talking in complete innocent terms.

But, women aren’t allowed to perform pilgrimage with their faces covered, or even pray that way, according to Islam.

I’m not going to argue the Islamic beliefs behind this. I’m not going to deny that pretty much all Islamic scholars will agree the wives of the Prophet (salallahu alhi wassalaam), were made the ‘Mother’s of Islam,’ and asked to cover their faces.

But the Qura’an itself does not clearly specify that this is an Islamic ruling, no matter how the words are interpreted.

I for one, feel it’s an extreme in today’s UAE world. I’m not talking about it being outdated, as Islamic rulings are meant to withstand time and I agree with this belief. I feel it’s an extreme because of the way the Hijab (Islamic covering) is worn, now.

I remember a house-guest I once entertained. Her husband had come to visit my husband. She was a local lady and though the men were to eat in the sitting room, and my sister-in-law, this guest and I were meant to eat somewhere else, she refused to remove her Hijab during her whole multi-hour visit with us, even while eating. I have never in my life felt so insulted; and I never invited the woman back. She was a snob, who clearly feared the ‘evil eye,’ or something along those lines. I don’t remember her name, but I remember the insult.

I suppose, she was a rarity and not the reason I have such issues with this sort of Hijab, over all.

Sure, the women are covered in public and being ‘modest’. But more often than not, their eyes are artistically painted to entice and encourage deep, curious looks, their fingers are usually adorned with diamonds the size of walnuts, and their perfume is usually an intoxicating, richly exotic scent that can be smelled a hundred meters behind their walking-path. And their Abaya’s are skillfully cut to flow around the body, showing hints of voluptuous curves. They reek of a feminism you can feel and almost taste in their presence. I am a woman; a strait one at that. It sounds undeniably seductive, because it is.

The point I’m trying to make, there are extremes and there is modesty. The naked Spinney’s women of today are at one end, the towering modestly femme women are the other.

Both, in my opinion, shouldn’t be complaining about harassment; cause whether they admit it or not, they’re asking for attention. If it’s a different kind of attention you’re looking for, try a different marketing scheme.

22 Comments:

Blogger Anon said...

My number is 050 4365281

You want making "nice frienship"?

3:54 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

lol, I wonder how many people are actually going to call this number there UC...

4:00 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger The Wanderer™ said...

Very well said. And for a change, a post without a single swear word.

TF rocks:)

4:27 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger black feline said...

your highness..i strongly suggest u visit the Bastikiya Arts Cafe...runs by an extremely chic european lady (me think she's french)..young, elegant and so regal..she wears very nice soft pastel muslim attire...lime green, light orange..etc with a nice scarf gently worn around the head..me think her porcelain skin is on par with Nicole Kidman...in fact...stars like Audrey Toutou (France) has visited the cafe....

4:45 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger * said...

tainted
I came back from umrah and was devastated to read your vitriloic post.But in view of the comments made on my name on archers blog I can fully understand and justify your view.
I cannot explain what happened but I can say I am very sorry for the hurt caused to you.I could email you but I would rather do this in the open because this is me not the person who left the remarks.I would never want to hurt anyone intentionally, and reading your post again and again only makes me realise how each word is like a knife through my heart, and it hurts when one is on the recieving end. I am not writing this in response to your post because you said what you had to and it cannot be undone.But I wish just once you had asked me.Once again that was not me,but this is me and I am sorry.

4:47 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Feline...

I used to display work in the gallery (now restaurant) beside her; 'Local House', not Majelis. The woman knows me well. You can say, she doesn't care for me much as I would be a 'competitor' at the time.

5:01 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Kaya,

It’s nice to finally hear from you and I appreciate the apology, much. As you noted in public, I will respond the same. I’ve actually had a few conversations with CG about this issue and she assured me that this isn’t your norm.

I understand that people go off and say stupid things, especially while under the influence of intoxicants (even prescribed ones), so honestly, there’s no hard feelings from my side.

But, the thoughts had to have come from somewhere in you, which would mean I’ve somehow, someway rubbed you the wrong way and since I don’t recall ever meeting you or talking to you, I’d like to know how and why, if you wouldn’t mind sharing.

You can get my phone number from CG. Feel free to give me a call anytime (though you might want to text me first as I don’t always answer numbers I don’t know). If you’re not comfortable with this, it’s not a problem. Consider it water under the bridge and we’ll put this all behind us.

Welcome back. May your Umrah be accepted and your prayers be granted, Inshallah.

5:09 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

And Wanderer… You’re counting my cuss words? LOL

5:15 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger black feline said...

sob....arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....sob...........arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....it's so touching..........arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....sob....give me a cookie pls tainted...oh sorry! i mean your royal highness...

5:15 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Feline...

Wasn't it you who coined me 'Diva Tainted'? And now, you've forgotten my title...

What the hell are you doin in from the sands?

5:26 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger The Wanderer™ said...

TF, be assured, I'm not counting, but can definitely spot and appreciate a post without them easily:)

6:05 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger black feline said...

apologies My Queen...i was carried away!

7:16 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

Tainted...I love this post...every time I walk through a mall and see both extremes...I feel tempted to say something to them.
The new abayas that draw attention with the artistic shayla's and the super strong perfume with the feminine walk...and the eye works..what do these girls expect..and the funny thing is ..these same girls will make comments about girls who are modest but not wearing a hijab or look down at girls who wear plain abayas...its soooo superficial soooo silly...soooo histrionic...
For the skimpy women in spinneys..who looks like they should be sunbathing somewhere...who complain about the vulgar "arabs" who give them dirty looks...all I can say...is what you said..they are all asking for that attention..
Thats why I dont miss the malls in Dubai...its crazy...

9:46 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Hmm yes they were mothers of the believers and it is also written in the quran that they are not like other women. For many reasons. One being that they after the Prophet's (pbuh) death were not allowed to remarry since they were to be his wives in heaven as well.
That is why they had more "restrictions" in terms of dress etc.

We ain't like them, hence covering faces is not a required dress code in terms of being obligatory.

(taking a large breath) lol

10:31 PM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger The Wanderer™ said...

I forgot to share this yesterday but I recently saw a lady wearing a black abaya with denim patches right under each shoulder and also lining the bottom end.

I think she was trying to make a fashion statement.

12:07 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger The Wanderer™ said...

I forgot to share this yesterday but I recently saw a lady wearing a black abaya with denim patches right under each shoulder and also lining the bottom end.

I think she was trying to make a fashion statement.

12:07 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

HL & H, How come I knew you’d make a comment in agreement with me on this one? Honestly, I was expecting it, even though you’re not around so much anymore. Miss you.

SS, thank you much for filling in the smaller details I didn’t really want to get into personally. (Unfortunately, I’ve tired from religious debate and with my faltering practice, talking religion makes me feel the hypocrite.)

Wanderer, I’m sure she’s not the first and she won’t be the last to so such things.

;)

12:52 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Anon said...

Why's my phone not ringing?

Women eh? Discuss

1:30 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Mohammed UK said...

EXCELLENT STUFF.

The issue of Niqab here (UAE) is huge. We have to realise that when something originally islamic just becomes a cultural symbol all the other non-islamic effects will trickle through. The physical covering is supposed to be a statement of "Keep Away" but now it has become "I'm a good girl, come and get me."

I saw some boys with a tannoy calling out of their car window (probably a Porsche) at fully covered young women.

There are of course the different categories of men here - loaded local, eastern bachelor (either really single or wife back home).

Great, REAL blog.

Mohammed

2:50 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Welcome Mohammed...

A pleasure to have you visiting...

;) And yes, I agree with you fully.

3:47 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

Tainted...I am around and try to visit your blog daily...despite the exams and all (check my IP ;) )
I just could not resist but comment on this one..
I miss you too :)

5:12 AM, May 22, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

HL... I know you are. But it always feels great when you take the time to comment...

I wish you'd just un-busy yourself soon enough... your blog needs entries woman!

3:58 PM, May 22, 2006  

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