Monday, April 03, 2006

See, I’m even an idiot.

I just published this in the Community Blog without realizing it! ~*Slap me if I didn’t delete it before anyone saw it there!*~

Let’s just get this outta the way, already…

A while back, I wrote this lover-ly little disclaimer in my other on-line journal. I really didn’t think it was needed here, since this journal is toned waaaaay down in comparison; but it seems some people still don’t get it.

So here we go:

Let’s make this real fucking clear

14/04/05

I don’t need you to tell me that:the syntax in my journal is completely fucked. I don’t give a shit. I don’t intend for this fucking book to become a “great piece of literature,” nor do I give a fuck if people can or can’t understand what I’m saying because I’ve misplaced a few fucking commas or mistyped a few fucking words.

that I can be mean, immature, incredibly emotional, a complete contradiction, a nasty little bitch that you don’t like, manipulative, opinionative, loud spoken, incredibly stupid at times, offensive, my own worst enemy, or even that I need help. You see, I’m already fucking aware of all this. And it’s just sad for you, if this is all you can see in me, because there is so much more that you refuse to see.

that I am hated. I’m well fucking aware of that one too. But you see, the number of people who hate me compared to the number that would give me the shirt off their backs is fucking minimal. If you’re delusional enough to think that every fucking person you know likes you, then I pity you.

that I have a dirty mouth. If you think I can’t see the shit that I type, or acknowledge the content rating on my own fucking journal, then I’m afraid it’s you that needs some serious advice possibly from a professional.
that I can be wrong. I know that one too. And you know what; most of us have this fucking attribute! The difference between the majority and myself, I can fucking admit it when I’m proven wrong, and even consider the possibility when I’m not wrong and offer an apology in both cases.

that you just don’t *get* why I write what I do. This shit isn’t for you to get. It’s for me. And you shouldn’t be in here if you can’t comprehend that.

that I’m always fucking angry at someone. The only fucking way you could come to such a conclusion is if you’ve only read a few select entries here and there, therefore you’re in no fucking position to judge me as a whole.

that I can be egocentric, immodest, crude, vulgar, heartless, destructive, a fucking idiot at times. I’ve heard it all before and I know it as well.

The fact is, I’ve been called, heard and noted almost every negative thing a person could possibly have attributed to them. The bottom line is, I’m as honest about what I think and feel as I fucking can be. When you lay it all out the way I do here, chances are you’re going to have to hear the same sort of shit. If you think I haven’t already heard or pondered your negative shit on my own, you’re sadly mistaken. But on top of all these shitty attributes, I’m a pretty great fucking person.I love and I am loved. I give, and I care. I am a true fucking friend, to friends. And I always, always try to make sense of my world. I mean what I say, when I say it. But that doesn’t mean that statement is forever true. Things change, and so do I, almost on a daily basis.I try very hard to make myself a better person. If you think you’re in a position to judge me, you can get fucked and that’s the last word.

12 Comments:

Blogger Dani said...

Hi, read this post just awhile ago..it's exactly 7.46pm posted at the UAE community..and it disappeared when I refreshed..now I'll continue reading! ;P

9:01 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger samuraisam said...

I saw it and was about to give you a telling off for swearing so much on their (:
but you deleted it before I could ):

9:03 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

Look who's talking...
Tainted.. I smile :)

9:13 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger samuraisam said...

*their>there, there being the UAE community blog.

9:14 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger BuJ said...

if the word fuck was removed this article would be a quarter shorter, and if all swear words then half shorter...

so much anger?

i just started reading a few posts here and there on this blog.. and i noticed it's all about what makes ur blood boil.

ok, so what makes u happy?

(maybe i need to read a few more posts.. i know...)

9:27 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger Dani said...

I admire your honesty Tainted... I've been in ur blog a couple of times already. :)

and..

I think somebody needs to give you two mind blowing slaps. But who will do it? LOL

samuraisam and I saw it there.. :D

Ahhh..there's something missing in ur post..that 'I hope you have a ____?____ evening'.. right? :)

Cheer up!

9:32 PM, April 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*shocked*

12:05 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Emaraty said...

Finally i find a girl confessing, shez an idiot.

1:21 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Balushi said...

Finally i find a girl confessing, shez an idiot.



i think i should just stop posting!!! since you are doing it :O

9:25 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Jin said...

I also swear, mainly at home tho & don't give a toss what anyone thinks about it! I like your blog Tainted, simply because it (appears to be) brutally honest & as we've all read, that can be painful. Carry on hon - just carry on being you.

3:35 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Buj,

Right now, you’re making me smile. :)

As are the rest of you…

Thank all you who spoke up for accepting that this is who I am, and THANK all you who didn’t say anything; realizing what you had to say, I’d have probably deemed it worthless to listen to.

Actually… I was expecting to get a lot of grief for this one, but even here, my anon only mentioned *shock*.

Sam, I honestly didn’t mean to post it there. And I’m sorry for anyone who saw it; and also sorry cause you didn’t get the chance to tell me off about it. LOL! I’d have deserved it.

And yes, on the original post, I wished everyone a WONDERFUL evening… I tend to do that sincerely regardless of the prior content to that statement.


B & Emaraty, you sure you're not the same person?

4:07 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger BuJ said...

smilin is good.. that's the point :)

6:30 PM, April 04, 2006  

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