Dubai Police Show Off Certificate!

Well, Keefieboy got this one in a text message,, I got it as an image shiny gold certificate in my email!



Notice, they even got a big ribbon! I wonder who awarded it to them? Sure wouldn’t have been me. Not with the mood I’m in towards them these days.

Lemme tell you a nice little story…

Over the past few weeks, we’ve all been reading about the crackdown Dubai Police has claimed to be making towards traffic violations and the increasing number of fines; but few of us can claim to have seen them in action. I’m one of the lucky ones, if you can call me that.

I woke up one morning last week and get ready for work as usual. My car being about ready to collapse (or at least that’s the way my exaggerating over-dramatic mind likes to put it), I had borrowed a shiny black Altima from my fiancé.

Since I had learned my lesson about the mess my car will become if parked below the construction they’re doing next to my building so I deliberately parked it across the street, below a couple of buildings the night before. In the morning I was disappointed to see that someone had dumped a bucket of what I can only assume was filthy floor water after cleaning a house that hadn’t been washed in over a year, out their window; leaving a wonderful layer of white muck all over the windshield, and front half of the car (CG stop laughing, it’s not that funny).

Where were the police to stop this neglectful vandalism? (I’m in no way implying that I’m innocent of vomiting out my apartment window, on to some poor saps balcony years back; however I was pregnant and I was caught off-guard by the sudden, immediate need to vomit and didn’t really have an option as to where.)

Anyway, that morning my day started at the car wash. Driving into the city I encountered no less than four life-threatening mishaps on the road where other drivers (3 out of four of them from heavy vehicles) decided to swerve into me without notice or illegally rush out onto roundabouts or completely neglecting the rules of roundabouts; forcing me to slam on the breaks to avoid certain death and that’s on top of the countless truck drivers oblivious to the law regarding lane discipline (and the signs that clearly show no trucks in three out of four lanes on Emirates road), causing severe congestion the whole way in.

Where the hell were the police during this entire trip? I shit you not, I was wondering. And my answers came.

I drove into internet city at the turn off from Sheikh Zayed road; relieved to be exiting the chaos of the highways and even a little upbeat about my planned morning coffee with an old friend there. Despite the ongoing construction, most of Internet city and Media city, feels a little like a desert oasis; a place where you can relax while driving, on most days. But that morning there was something askew.

At the second little roundabout when entering there was a distraction. Dubai Police were at their best, pulling over cars right on the round about itself. Despite the lack of better judgment I couldn’t help but watch the police, to try and figure out what exactly they were doing. Trying not to hold up traffic I glanced quickly to my left and placed my foot on the gas. Suddenly, a motorbike appeared and I slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting him.

I was defiantly at fault and I wasn’t at all dismayed by the police officer pulling me over. I deserved a ticket, at the least a lecture and I knew it. The roundabout deserved more than a glance. I wasn’t about to argue it at all.

I rolled down the window as the officer approached, “Salaam Alaykum.”

“W’alaykum Salam. I don’t speak Arabi…”

He cut me off, “Lisence ow milkeeya, losamatee.”

“Digiga Akhoy, bis ana ma’arrf Arabi, tatkelm Englasi?” I shuffled through my wallet and the car for the license and registration.

He shouted, “Your tint is too dark; you didn’t give that guy way. Give me your license and registration!”

I was already handing it to him. “I didn’t see him!” I was already aggravated by his tone.

“You didn’t see him because the tint is so dark!” He started taking out his pen to write the ticket.

“I didn’t see him because I WASN’T LOOKING, not because of the tint.”

“Do you want me to give you a ticket?”

Did the guy mean he’d taken out the pen to offer me his phone number, or something? “Give me the damn ticket. These fucking bikes shouldn’t be on the road anyway.” I had clearly lost my temper, and was talking irrelevant shit.

“Fine.”

Bravo for Dubai Police for denying a distraction they cause, being blind to the fact that I’m not denying it was my mistake but arguing the basis of that mistake, and actually giving those tickets they’re on about in the papers!

The guy came back and held the ticket book through my window for me to sign. “You’re taking my license?” The last time I got a ticket like that they had done so.

“No.”

“Alright, how much is this?” It wasn’t my car, but I still needed to take responsibility for it, right?

” I don’t know really.”

“You don’t know? The last time you all told me that it was ten-thousand!” He ripped my ticket out of the book and handed it to me.

“You shouldn’t have tint on your car.”

“It’s not my car. What would you like me to do?”

“Why are you driving it?”

“Umm, because my car needs to be in the shop.”

“You’re tired now. Go.”

I would you dumb fuck, but you’ve still got my license in your hand. “You’ve taken my license?” And who the fuck was he to tell me I was tired?

He almost threw it at me as he walked away.

Now normally, I don’t get angry at police officers. And I certainly don’t mind the tickets much, as most of the time I can accept my responsibility for them. But this was something else; the smug son-of-a-bitch spoke to me as though I was skum of the earth and only after I explained I don’t speak Arabic; though he seemed to speak fluent English.

I’m still put off by his tone. Even more put-off by the fact that the ticket itself was made out to my license and not on the car itself; despite the fact that I’ll pay it either way, I don’t understand the logic of that. I will not drive a that car with tint again; but nothing shows that this car needs the tint to be removed? And furthermore put-off because the fucker initially wrote ‘Shamil’ on the ticket before scratching it off and putting, “Tint exceeding legal limit”.

I know from past experience that ‘Shamil’ (meaning tint covering all windows completely, including the windshield) without permission is punishable by the license being revoked and a ten-thousand dirham fine. I recently learned that this ticket I got, only values at 500Dhs. There is a big difference and even the thought that this FUCKER considered exaggerating my offense on a legal document written only in Arabic (a language I can’t read fluently), before making me sign it is enough to make my blood boil.

Congratulations Dubai Police on fifty years! You may have made it this far, but there is certainly some room for improvement; start by possibly stationing your ticketeers where there’s REAL danger on the roads and where they’re NOT causing a distraction they will deny, move on to making tickets bilingual, then consider NOT blocking a main artery of a road for your celebrations and possibly train your officers about public relation skills. I’d have never lost my temper had this fucker not been so coy with me in the first place. The whole experience could have been a lot smoother; less aggravating for both of us. Hell, in most cases, I usually smile and laugh with them!