Sunday, May 21, 2006

*Due to the fact that this email was actually sent this morning, concerning a company that does actually exist, I have changed all names. I just thought this was the best way to keep you all updated on my work situation.

Dear Mr. YuckFou*,

Just thought I would send a reminder your way to let you know I will be leaving this office in nine days exactly and I still haven’t heard anything from you concerning my replacement.

I’m also a little curious, as last night BlowMe* came by and mentioned to Poor-New-Girl*, who had only started yesterday and proves to be very smart and energetic, that you would be coming and you would decide whether or not she had a job. As a result of this, I found her searching the classifieds in search of somewhere else to work this morning. I told her not to worry, and that her position here had already been approved by you. I’m wondering if this comment from him is based on anything other than talk. Will you be coming here soon? Do you have plans not to keep her?

There is an ad in the papers for new sales staff still, and tomorrow I’ll be interviewing a couple of Filipino’s. However, without any answers from you concerning the future of Failing-Company*, I’m hesitant to hire anyone. I’m wondering if you’re considering closing Failing-Company* all together.

Regardless, there are still the over-due fees for salaries and such, as I mentioned in the last email. Kindly give me a response concerning these amounts as soon as possible as I already mentioned to you on the phone that both Helpless-Office-Boy* and I are having a very hard time financially dues to these delays.

As always, I hope all is wonderful over there.

Sincerest regards,

Swear Meeeestress *

Note: The title “Swear Meeestress” (with any number of E’s), was allotted to me by Buj, and should now be considered my official designation around here. This is official notification that ‘Swear Meestress” is replacing other known tags for myself, such as ‘attention whore,’ ‘Blogging Drama Bitch’, and even “Psycho Slut”, which no one has dared call me, but I’m sure is soon to come. I reserve the right to reverse this official note and use all designations at any given time.

’nother Note: BlowMe* came by the office this morning, and informed me that YuckFoo* will be visiting us at the end of this month. This should assure that I get some or all of the money due to me, but only after a meeting that is sure to degrade me, my intelligence, and all that I’ve bothered to put into this company despite his veiled wished to leave the thing collapsing. This also means, I will be hysterically-emotional during the days prior to his arrival, though the duration of his visit, and for a short while after his plane has once again left the UAE. I am giving you an explanation now for any short-tempered bitchy comments I may make. Please go fuck yourself, rather than fucking with me during the last days of the month, and don’t be the idiot who gets on my last nerve; no matter how tempting it’s gonna be for some of you.

Thank you very, berry much.

Pleasant regards,

Tainted Female
Swear Meeestress


Blogger BuJ said...

lol... this is acutely funny.. cannot think of words to describe it at the mo.. SM... khalas.. that's ur new name :)

7:05 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

You know... placing an '&' between the S&M, gives SM a whole new meaning.

7:22 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger BuJ said...

well well.. i was quite clear when i wrote it.. it's SM bass.

2:15 PM, May 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:32 PM, October 08, 2006  

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