Friday, August 25, 2006

Pity the maids…

…my ass.

Blame the UAE law…

…wrong again.

I learned something new yesterday. I learned something new about the UAE law that I’m sure a lot of expats aren’t aware of. It’s how much control you actually have when it comes to some of those laws you’re all so against.

My ex husband called me up yesterday to tell me the police raided their house at 2am; specifically the maids room. Inside, they found a naked man hiding under the maids bed. You see, my ex father in law, saw a man sneaking into the room when he called the police to report it.

Both the maid and the man were sent to the police station. Here’s the funny part, no case was opened and neither of them have been punished. In fact that bitch is currently working as normal in my ex’s house. Why? Because my father in law chose not to open the case. Despite the police intervention, the choice was his. So, for all of your bitching the UAE laws are too strict in these cases, have comfort in knowing that should it be against someone you sponsor, the choice it up to you and not the UAE law.

I’m more than pissed off about this incident, because though my nanny was with my son here at my house when this happened, there was a night three or four weeks ago when the same guy was seen knocking on the maid’s bedroom door only to be caught (I suppose it’ll help if you all knew this ‘man’ is in fact a mentally retarded distant family member thus the easy access to the house), to which my nanny played stupid, “Why is X knocking on my door?”

She attempted to play stupid when the police caught the other maid too, but that was all ruined when I took her mobile and well, the aforementioned man attempted calling her three times while the phone was with me. So much for innocence.

Now my personal problem… Since my divorce I’ve been fighting with my ex and his family because they allowed my son to sleep in the maid’s room with them. Up until now, they’ve ignored my protests because well, 1) my son likes to sleep with the nanny for some reason and 2) everyone else in the main house would rather not take the responsibility of waking up with him at night to go to the toilet.

I don’t give a shit what this maid or even my nanny does when it comes to relationships and sex. I do give a shit if my son may have been witness to this sort of crap. And since the guy attempted to get into the house (we’ve since learned the bitch maid left the gate open for him when she expected he’d be coming), when my nanny and my son where in the room just a few weeks ago, I’ve got no reason to doubt he was expected on that night too, and was only put off by the fact that my sister-in-law saw him in the yard through the kitchen window and questioned him before he had a chance to get in.

I’ve been promised over and over again, my son will NEVER sleep in that room again. If they don’t follow through with this, I’m not so sure I’ll be as kind as I have been when it comes to sharing custody anymore.

I believe both these maids need to go. This time, it may have been a distant family member, next time it could be a strange man these women are sneaking into the house in the middle of the night. My in-laws don’t seem to want to do that. The one who was caught owes someone money and needs to work it off, the nanny who ‘takes care of my son’ is needed something I don’t agree with at all. I can handle my son without a damn nanny, why the fuck can’t they?

Anyway, there’s a few things to be learnt in this. 1) If you don’t like the punishments, at the end of the day it’s up to you whether to push them or not in these sorts of cases, and 2) even the maids you sponsor and treat well aren’t always trustable.


Blogger Tainted Female said...

Well... There is no guarantee that my son was there when anything was happening, just a bunch of things put together that make it seem MORE than possible.

I just got off the phone with the ex. Thank God! It seems he's decided both these maid's are going, pretty damn soon too.

6:07 PM, August 25, 2006  
Blogger babe_uae said...

What can I say.......... First and foremost I would have kicked her ass, locked her in her room and the next morning she would have been on a plane !!

As for them saying that your son will never sleep in the room again how can you be so sure, there is no way I would even consider allowing my children to be exposed to this kind of behaviour, how can your inlaws allow this, leave the fact that it is agains the law wht about it being agains all of their religious beleifs, this just goes to show that they have no morals.

i am afraid to say that I would not allow my chid to go there again untill these maids are well and truly gone, it is his fathers responsibility to take care of him - is it too much to ask that for 1 or 2 nights a week he looses some sleep for the sake of his son ?

I am sure that the courts would side with you on this and I am sure that the joint custody aspect would be reviewed regardless of who his family are.

Sometimes these people make me so angry.

Make sure your son is ok and it may be worth asking if he has seen anything, i sure as hell would be majorly pissed if my children saw a care giver having it off when they are supposed to be protecting the chid !

7:57 PM, August 25, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


He’s not sleeping in their room anymore. And that’s for certain. Up until now, my in-laws didn’t see the point in upsetting him over something that was so trivial; he wanted to sleep there. And they spoil him in every way.

The maids are gone or at least will be very soon. And legally, I have full custody. I chose to let my son spend time there. Right now, I trust that they’re doing exactly as I’ve told them, because they FINALLY agree with me. Finally, they understand just one of the reasons I have had such issues with it in the first place.

8:08 PM, August 25, 2006  
Blogger Lou said...

Speaking from 'various' personal experiences, there is no way on this earth that I would leave my daughter with a maid.

Before anyone starts barking at me, I am not judging anyone that does as it's very much part of normal life in Dubai. I am merely stating that through experience, I would not.

In the pre Jumeirah Jane days, my mother worked full time and employed a full time housemaid to help look after me and my two younger brothers. Me and SM were both school age, but my younger brother SJ was only about 3 and was only at nursery a couple of times a week.

One evening, an indian lady knocked on our door and asked if LM lived with us. That's me! The woman explained that her husband had hidden a suitcase in his home and that she (his wife) had found it. Inside were toys, clothes and various other bits and pieces belonging to LM. My school jumper with its name tag had given her my name. (I got an ass whooping for apparently 'losing' that jumper and was never allowed a new one!!)

Anyhow, the woman said that she believed our housemaid 'Cecile' had stolen the items and given them to her husband whom she was having an affair with. She said she had often followed her husband to our house and that the maid would usually have a little boy with her, my brother.

It unfolded that our housemaid was a prostitute on the side and used to take my 3 year old brother with her to meet the seedy men that required her services. Even though my brother was only 3, when we asked him, he was able to give basic words of what he'd seen which sadly confirmed it all.

She had worked with us for about 2 years prior to us finding out that she'd been stealing from us and making SJ witness those scenes. We found loads more of our items in her quarters that which she had obviously stolen to sell on or send to her family.

In my later Dubai years (when we were all grown up) we had a part time houseboy who whilst we were on holiday decided to rob us blind; video cameras, stereo's, TV's etc. The list is endless.

Of course, there are workers out there that are extremely loyal. It's just unfortunate that we never found one.

9:18 PM, August 25, 2006  
Blogger babe_uae said...


Glad that there is now an agreement, I really hope that all works out well for you and little one xx

Sorry if I Misunderstood xx

8:42 AM, August 26, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Desert Lady,

I've had my number of issues with helpers, one steals from me, the other has boyfriends she sneaks in, the other runs away for no apparent reason... but something as horrible as you're describing - never!

I remember a close friend of mine catching her maid having sex with the gardener, and when she spoke with her kids they indirectly implied that she was selling herself. Her kids were young so she didn't push the questions and what she got in return wasn't conclusive because the kids didn't claim to be whitenesses to anything that terrible... but what you're sharing, it scares the shit outta me.

Babe_uae, no worries. I probably didn't make the situation clear enough in the entry itself. I tend to do that, it seems. ;)

10:01 AM, August 26, 2006  

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