Monday, October 23, 2006

Personal Lubricants

Once upon a time Dubai was a sex-free city. At least that’s what the supermarkets, drugstores & petrol stations would have had you believe. I remember people whispering over the counter to the pharmacist in the pharmacy for a tube of KY – as if they were ashamed to be purchasing it. Over the past few years though, things have changed. One of the most notable of all is the availability of condoms, delay sprays and personal lubricants available right off the shelf in most public shopping places. Unfortunately, we’ve still got a long way to go when it comes to sex paraphernalia. Customs will still stop you for attempting to bring handcuffs or vibrators through the airport. But I’m not going on about that. I’m gonna talk about and evaluate personal lube for you.

Available in Dubai:

Durex Play

Probably the most common lube found in every supermarket in the United Arab Emirates, Durex Play comes in two types, Heat & Regular. Seems to me like Durex has replaced KY, as it’s about the only lube I’ve seen here in years (unless you count the next one I’ll share with you).

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Scent: Unscented

Taste: Like sugar-coated-shit, literally

Texture: Sticky, honey-like, and disgusting. MUST shower immediately after use.

Comments: The heat one induces a sensational tingle, but the truth be told, the taste combined with the feeling that you’re covered in sticky molasses means this lube is a bigger turn off than turn on.

NITRO Canada

This ‘Love Gel Foam’ was found in some remote market in the middle of Ajman. I assure you, it has yet to hit the shelves in Canada.

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Scent: Like Indian curry. I’m not joking.

Taste: Like Indian curry with ginseng.

Texture: A combination of the water and the backside of duct-tape.

Comments: I recommend this product is used for anything but a personal lubricant. It is worth purchasing for the literature found on the back though. My favorite lines for your entertainment, “A Wondrous Love Gel Foam This gel foam is a highly potent sexual excitant for ladies. The culmination of years research and the experience of experts in herbal extract. It regulate the function of the vagina system. After use. The vagina becomes nicely moisturized and lubricated right away.” Even the sales pitch (what I can make of it) has me questioning whether this ‘lube’ is for the woman or the man!?

Available Abroad:

KY Sensual Mist

Available in any supermarket or drug store in Canada.

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Scent: Unscented

Taste: Tasteless

Texture: Smooth, just like regular KY. Gets a little sticky when drying, but nothing too torturous.

Comments: Great for when there’s simply no time to waste fucking around.

KY Touch Massage: Fireside

Available in any supermarket or drug store in Canada.

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Scent: Floral & Spicy, 100% fantastic.

Taste: Tasteless

Texture: Silky and sensual. A massage oil, plus personal lube (so long as you’re not using latex condoms), this is a brilliant product, with no sticky after-feel.

Comments: My favorite; even though this is supposed to warm against the breath and it doesn’t necessarily do that. I will have someone bring more in once my bottle finishes. Either that or I’ll petition some company to import it.

KY Touch Massage: Warming Personal Lube

Available in any supermarket or drug store in Canada.

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Scent: Unscented

Taste: Tasteless

Texture: Similar to regular KY, far less sticky than Durex Play.

Comments: Warms as promised. For those sensitive to smell or using Latex condoms, this is a must have; another one worth petitioning.

Last time you left the UAE… What unavailables did YOU bring back with you? And what did you forget to bring?


Blogger black feline said...

God saves the x queen...amen.

4:11 PM, October 23, 2006  
Blogger Sex and Dubai said...

LOL tainted. Thanks for the information we will be on the look out - not that Dubai's men need it, by the time we get it rubbed on they are all usually done!

9:55 PM, October 23, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


I already told you to get the fuck off my thrown and give me my crown back. Don't make me repeat myself again.

And SandD...

You're dealing with the wrong men. LOL! The last post was an ode to you and your blog. Seriously... You girls are something else.

A pleasure to meet you, really.

10:53 PM, October 23, 2006  
Blogger MASS said...

Those who love (to see) scandal published broadcast among the Believers, will have a grievous Penalty in this life and in the Hereafter: Allah knows, and ye know not.

[20] Were it not for the grace and mercy of Allah on you, and that Allah is full of kindness and mercy, (ye would be ruined indeed).

3:21 AM, October 24, 2006  
Blogger black feline said...

Woooooooooo...Im so very afraid...pls dont send me to the dungeon...pls dont!
My madame, u told me b4 you have decided to be a commoner that's why i treated u with no reverence...hoping you come to your senses and back to your throne...seems working...i will wait a little while to be doubly

8:42 AM, October 24, 2006  
Blogger Lizza said...

Hahaha! This post had me laughing out loud, Tainted. I hope these lubricants don't have any long-term side effects on the "vagina system."

4:54 PM, October 24, 2006  
Blogger * said...

EWWWW! Out of sheer curiousity (and decadence) I did try the Durex HEAT and there was no heat no tingle nothing but a nasty sensation of having nasty icky sticky snotty WANT TO WASH IT ALL OFF NOW. Like kids craft Glue.
I tell ya. Its all a rip off.
I huffed and puffed and blew the house down, and like heloooooo whens this gonna warm up?
As for the taste. NO WAY !! Was I gonna go there.

8:18 PM, October 24, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Lizza... ;) Glad to make you smile.

And Kaya... You have to BLOW on it.

9:05 PM, October 24, 2006  
Blogger Lou said...

Tainted - you saucy minx!


12:32 AM, October 25, 2006  

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