If I knew the answer; subsequently it becomes ‘Nothing.’

During the course of a rather comedic, light conversation I had last night, like a razor blade found in candy, I was asked, ‘What do you want in life?’

This is one of those questions that have plagued my mind since about as far back as I can remember. The simplest way for me to answer it is, “I don’t know what I want; I know what I don’t want, though.”

You see, I’m one of those people that knows that she can get what she wants, no matter what that want may consist of. If I knew what I wanted I life, I’d have it by now. And, either I’d learn to want something new, or I’d find contentment immediately; both resulting in me not wanting anything eventually.

Before I came to the UAE, I didn’t have much. I don’t remember that I wanted much, either. Maybe my mom will conflict this statement, but she still tells people I’m messy; a trait I haven’t had since I passed the age of puberty. (By the way, she is here, and has commented. Sooner or later, she’ll create a blog; she calls herself Basil) As far as I remember, I wanted what I needed more than anything else. I didn’t care about the shoes I wore, or the cost of my hemp necklace. I didn’t care for pretty things as much as most here do.

I still remember being given pocket money one day. I must have been younger than seven years old. By choice, I bought Windex, instead of candy like normal kids. I probably could have found some at the house anyway, but when I went to she shop, I saw the Windex and decided I needed to clean the windows in my bedroom, more than I needed candy.

Anyway, that all changed when I encountered society in the UAE. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again… I was taught to want, when it comes to material things. You can’t force a Mercedes on someone who doesn’t want it; make them drive it for six months, then send them back to the bus and expect them not to long for the comfort again, can you?

Now, I’m just about as shallow as the rest of you. That’s not the point of this blog entry, though.

The point is the UAE has given me a lot of things I wanted, things I thought I wanted, along side a bunch of things no one should ever want. It has changed me dramatically. Evidently, I may be surer about what I don’t want in life, than what I do, but I’m 100% certain about what I want after that; and I have the UAE to thank for it.

And I think I’m going to leave the only thing I truly long for as one of the few things I’ll keep to myself; at least for the time being. Perhaps you’ll consider your ‘life-wants’ and share them with me. Maybe, through seeing them, I’ll figure out my own?