Who the Hell Wrote That?

After reading through that last entry of mine, and realizing it doesn’t even sound like me, I’ve come to accept that I can be a really, really shitty writer at times. I can’t even follow that entry to the end without getting bored. Allow me to apologize now for anyone who had the misfortune of actually reading that.

I’ve been browsing blogs again lately – thank you CG. It’s taking me a while to get around to all the ones that I used to frequent and I’ve seen very few new ones but I’ve got to say, with so little being said about Saddam’s execution, so much being said in the silence and the same hums about traffic, the same idiocy of your average anonymous commentator, not all that much has changed in blogsphere.

I suppose I should make this my official ‘I’m BaAAAAaaaack’ entry and explain my absence, what’s been happening throughout, what’s going on now, and why my blog most probably won’t sound even close to the way it used to, in new entries.

First of all, I removed my blog thanks to that infamous twat who was interviewing expatriates in the UAE for research for a book he’d like to write. I along with others were talked into sharing details of our lives, thoughts, and other information about interaction between locals and non-locals in the UAE under the impression that he was intending to write something positive and truthful about the UAE. When he found himself apprehended by authorities (and believe me, authorities here don’t apprehend people without a hint of a reason), he sent an apologetic note about how all his files including those with my blog url, correct contact details and some of my personal writing – which I did not give him permission to share or publish, were confiscated. I wouldn’t be calling him a twat for this happening, nor would I have been so incredibly offended by this inconsiderate being, had he not written the most arrogant, insulting, absolutely unbalanced, account of his apprehension in the UAE and the UAE society in general shortly after in his blog, without any regard for those like me who still might have been in harms way due to these files being confiscated.

At the time I had too much going on otherwise to even bother with the ass, who if you haven’t noticed has achieved in losing any respect I might have once had for him. Around the time I received this man’s hyped up, paranoid email talking about how his situation would become an international issue because he is a bull-whatever-the-fuck-that-noone-in-the-uae-knows-or-
gives-a-damn-about, I was going through my own personal hell. It simply made sense to remove my blog at the time, and not bother with it at all.

As many of my previously avid readers know, I had gone back home to Canada for surgery. I failed to mention here or anywhere in public exactly what the problem was and without sharing any in-depth details due to potential consequences of doing that (and I’d appreciate it if any of you who know or are intelligent enough to figure it out, don’t say anything here in public – failure to comply will only make me delete any comments and initiate comment moderation) my body was being poisoned by a deceased foreign object. By the time I reached Canada, I was literally on the verge of death and had I not reached when I did, I would be dead now. Thank you Layla123, for your support, right up until the last moment. I’ll not forget it, ever.

It took me well over my month there, and beyond that to recover. I am fine now, and I’m not asking for any pity because of this. I am fully at fault for what happened. Do not misunderstand. I’m sharing these details for the sake of explaining my absence and my very severe change of heart concerning most things.

The bottom line is, I don’t give a fuck anymore about a lot of things I used to, in particular bloggers and most people in general. I learned a lot and my eyes were truly opened. I believe anyone who has been as close to death as I was, would have a similar change of heart concerning life in general.

2006 was a complete bomb for me in most every possible way. There’s no where for 2007 to go but up. Prior to the New Year, I’d started working on all the changes I finally realized I needed to make and stick to. I’m currently spending most of my time attending to souq.com where I’ve become an avid seller. I import items from abroad, I sell the jewelry I make, and I sell off all sorts of odds & ends that are no longer needed, as my parents are leaving to Canada for good on the 10^th of this month. I make a fairly moderate amount of money each month from souq, and since I only intend to expand my stock and thus sales, I believe should I continue I should be able to make a really decent amount of money in the next few months time. It’s my solution to not working for another dickhead boss in the UAE again. However, I may have to take up a job temporarily because I’m also in the process of a few other things.

Right now I’m purchasing an apartment, and I’ve succeeded in taking a loan that will cover that expense. The apartment is located close to my ex husbands place, and my sons school which is perfect. The ex husband and I are getting along better than we ever have, and he’s literally shocked me with kindness recently.

The boy and I have separated again, and this time it’s for good. In fact, I’ve given my word to a few people that I’ll never take him back. I’m not sure if I believe myself yet, because the truth be told… I’m a stupid little girl at the end of the day and I really did love the guy with all my heart. It doesn’t help that I’m a romantic at heart, and I’m totally in love with being in love, but I don’t have the time or the energy to date or even meet new people. I’m fucking lonely without him. But currently, I hate him just the same.

So that’s it… That’s what’s been going on and that’s pretty much where I stand now. I’m sure I left a lot of details out and it’s not intentional. I may or may not get around to filling in the rest later.

Until then, may all of us have a better 2007, than 2006 in every possible way.