Study Canada – A little more appeal…

In a ranting rave over this fucking World Cup and the sheer stupidity of men who obsess over it, I called up a friend of mine for the second time yesterday, late last night.  I’m sorry you had to hear it F.  I really am.  Through my screams, bittersweet nervous giggles, and sarcasm about the whole situation something interesting popped up.

There’s one more thing that home can offer me that I can’t get my hands on here; one more reason why that flight back may be necessary.  And it’s not the prospect taking up permanent residence on F’s couch, smoking and drinking away his shit, destroying his privacy, sucking away at his life; as tempting and productive as that sounds, to both him and me.

If I go home, I can complete my education and get my degree; something that’s highly unlikable here; exuberant schooling fees for inadequate schooling systems that are honestly, more about being a fashion show than anything else. Or at least that’s from what I’ve experienced.

I left higher education at the American University of Dubai for number of reasons; but mainly I had absolutely no interest in the degree choices they offered, and life away from proper education was at that time more appealing and suiting to me.  There are three solid career choices a girl like me really has; Writing, Law, and Psychology or Psychiatry; none of which were offered then in either the most acclaimed university here, or any of the others in the English language.

I was deliriously in love then.  I choose I’d spend my life taking care of the man who would be my future husband.  Fate had its own plan, and ripped him away.

What if now I could turn back and complete what I failed to as a teen?  What if I could somehow try and convince my ex-husband to allow me to take my son with me; for the sake of that education and him saving on the costs of school him here?  Ideally, he’d see convenience in that and allow me to make my son a legal Canadian citizen; something he’s always denied in the past.  Ideally, I’d take my baby back home with me, for the years that I’m studying and he’d be taught primary schooling for free in a Canadian government school.  Ideally, I’d come back here with a degree which made me a therapist and allowed me to open my own practice here and actually do something with myself.

What if that was all possible and I just haven’t seen it until now? But then, what if it’s just wishful thinking; I’m dreaming up a future that will never materialize because the ex will never allow me to make my son a Canadian, will never trust me to take him out of the UAE for even a short trip, will never see that I intend to keep the promise of returning with our baby one day?

I’ve been trying to call the ex all morning.  He’s not picking up the phone.  I will take my chances and see what he has to say about it as soon as I can.  I

f I could leave, make something of myself knowing my absence wont destroy my son, it’d be great.  If I could leave and make something of myself with my son at my side, I never have to ask for; never have to want anything else.