9am - Already Frustrated!? Only in Dubai!!

Before I start my bitching, I have to say Bravo! to an Indian expatriate who fought the illegitimate increase of his rent, took the problem to court and got a ruling in his favor the very same day. There’s a lesson here for the rest of us who are suffering at the hands of greedy building owners & real estate agents. There’s no need to give up before you start, simply because you’re a pessimistic thinker. Good things do happen in this country. Good things can happen for you too.

Now, it’s exactly 9.08am, and I’m pissed right the fuck off already. Yesterday, I finally had wireless installed in my house. One would think after the Etisalat technicians install everything and leave your house, installation would be complete, no?

No. Not according to the second Etisalat representative I called in complaint about this shitty service disconnecting every three fucking minutes. The first guy, he was your average, “Call-another-number-it’s-not-our-problem-Joe.” Pissed off when the second number didn’t answer and still suffering this damned connection problem an hour later, I called Etisalat again only to have a conversation that went in circles regarding what my problem was and whether or not Etisalat’s procedures were proficient enough.

I mean, the guy told me that my installation wasn’t complete. When I asked how it was possible that the technician left my house without completing the installation, I was informed that the physical installation was complete but the technician had to go back to his office and approve my line, which was in a ‘testing phase’. When I then enquired as to whether or not there was someone else who could do it, I was told that there was no one else there. Upon asking about the proficiency of this procedure, I was told that it is VERY proficient and I needed to wait until the following day to know whether or not the problem was with this connection, or simply the fact that it’s not yet been installed.

As I’m sure you’re already figuring it’s still fucked. Upon calling Etisalat this morning, I was told to disable my antivirus and that he would refresh from his side. If that didn’t solve the problem a technician would be sent – for his call I’m now impatiently waiting.

As if this isn’t frustrating enough, last week a very sentimental folder of poetry, photos, etc were deleted from my mom’s PC. A good friend of mine explained I need to get a document recovery system in order to retrieve it. This morning, I found one that seemed easy enough to deal with and decided to place an order. I don’t have a credit-card, but the company I choose allowed bank transfers – if ONLY Emirates bank allowed the same.

After more than an hour of changing the settings in my online account with Emirates Bank, and more than 4 phone calls, pushing numerous buttons at specified times just to get one after another of their useless customer service representatives who once again enjoyed repeating the same bullshit sentences that aren’t even slightly related to my problems, I finally got the damn configurations specified in my account in order to add a new beneficiary to my list. But that wasn’t before having to update my mobile numbers twice, and logging in and out of my online account more times than I can remember in order for the damn changes to register.

Now, I already transfer money almost monthly online as I’m still paying off my car. But that amount is a little more than the Dhs134 the software would cost me. Can you imagine my frustration as I type in all the details and click ‘transfer’ only for an error message to appear telling me the minimum amount to transfer must be AED200 and to change the amount before proceeding?

Since there’s no further information about this on their website, I make another dreaded call to Emirates bank. First, I get some dumb twit who keeps telling me how much the transfer is going to cost me regardless of the amount I want to send. Finally, I blow up on her and ask her if she hears my complaint at all! I don’t GIVE A SHIT about the cost of the transfer! I just want to make it! Fuck. She puts me on hold forever, before coming back and telling me to change my limit amounts, keep fiddling with them for a while and if that doesn’t work to go to their bank – which there’s no way in hell I’m doing. Each and every change I might remind you, means logging in and out the damn account again & retyping the transfer details before you find out the fucking this hasn’t registered.

Of course, it doesn’t help one bit, since minimum amounts and limits are exact opposites. I call back the fucking bank and demand the manager. Again I find myself on the verge of probably ending up in jail for cussing out a customer service rep on the other end of the line for repeatedly asking me if she could help before transferring me.

I finally get the fucking manager and after yet another frustrating conversation and numerous minutes on hold, I’m told he must check with the back office because this is a new system restriction. Ahh, but as usual, Emirates Bank systems are down. I don’t think I’ve ever called this fucking bank and NOT learned that their systems were down for maintenance. With all that fucking maintenance, you’d think the fucking things would WORK in the customers favor, no?

No he couldn’t transfer the money for my by phone. It’s an ENTIRE system restriction. There’s NO fucking solution, except wait for him to get back to me.

9am and I’m already PISSED right the FUCK off. Someone shoot me. Or them.