Sam Replied…

…so I should curl up under a rock somewhere and allow myself to rot away – because we all know every accusation the child made about me was accurate in every single way and the entire planet feels exactly the same about me as he does.

But instead, I think I’m going shopping for my friend’s baby. It’s his first birthday party today, and we’re having a baby party.

Starts singing, ”I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid, there’s a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with!”

You know the marketing is good, when twelve years have passed and the same jingle from some ancient commercial still gets stuck in your head!