Bitch, bitch, bitch, whine, whine, whine…

I can not believe the amount of time, space and financial resources this society uses to bitch, whine and moan about petty bullshit. It’s incredible, really.

The ‘Letters to the Editors,’ in any of the UAE’s leading papers are full of repetitive rubbish from expats & nationals a like. There’s nothing more nauseating than repetition.

Open any newspaper on any day and I assure you, you’ll find a comment about a ‘psychotic’ driver, you’ll find a comment about the quality of accommodation, you’ll find something about the cost of living or construction, and lets not leave out the my-country-and-my-culture-is-superior-to-yours, letters now, either. You’ll defiantly see something about the injustices of the legal system here at least every other day. And if you’re inclined enough to read Gulf News, you’ll almost certainly find at least four or five letters stating the exact same thing, but using different words.

It’s amazing how many choices one language gives you to make the same point about the same fucking thing, isn’t it?

If you can’t beat them, join them. I’m going to bitch, bitch, bitch and whine, whine, whine about some of these things; because I’m cranky and I damn well feel like it.

My complaints are as follows:

• This country can afford to build luxuries like 6 lane highways or Burj Al Arab, but it can’t accommodate international standard, competent hospitals or schools. Never ceases to amaze me; the priorities of some people.

• A university degree is a MUST have for mother’s who wish to sponsor their children regardless of their position at work, or salary. This one in particular pisses me off, because a very good friend of mine was raped, scared to inform the police (can you blame her?), fell pregnant, lost a great job and ended up in her home country, a place she’d never spent more than a month in, during her entire life; that doesn’t even have medicine (I SHIT YOU NOT, I was there when she delivered) in the hospitals, let alone an economy where people can afford the pleasure of having children and eat at the same time!

• The Plastic People. I don’t care who you are or where you’re from, if you’ve been in the UAE long enough you’re bound to pick up a layer of superficial plastic; otherwise you’ll become a social reject, and it’ll be virtually impossible to advance in any career. You MUST know how to make a fake smile convincing.

• Racism Denial. Again, like the plastic people, no matter how ‘anti-discrimination’ you think you are, stay here long enough and you will become racist, whether you vocalize it or not. It’s going to make its way in, under your skin, and mold the way you perceive the world.

• Communication Gaps. And now, I’m not talking about language here. I’m talking government-declared speed limits & other regulations. Example; Shk Zayed Rd has signs saying the speed limit is 100 kms/h, when in fact the radars don’t flash and the fucking police chief stated a month back in Gulf News, that the actual limit is 120kms/h within the city & 140kms/h when you approach Jebel Ali. Or the 160kms/h speed limit on the highway in Abu Dhabi, that was officially announced in all the leading News Papers, months ago, and yet all the signs still read 100kms/h. It’s only logic to see making the fucking rules clear would reduce road-rage, and traffic woes. Each person follows a different set of rules and all of us think we’re legally-right, so who is really to blame for the car driving 100kms/h in the fast lane that refuses to budge, or the guy flying by him from the right at 120kms/h, waving his fist in the air and cussing like a maniac?

• Feigned Wasta. It’s a fucking joke. If you know the right people, you have it made here; no matter what you’re in to. But, if you think dropping a big name is going to influence my opinion, you’ve in for a rude-awakening. Fact; those who have wasta, those who know the right fucking people, don’t vocalize it. Most dogs will bite without barking, and most dogs who bark are too intimidated to actually bite. The number of people I’ve come across here, with this undesirably loathsome trait is astonishing!

• Identity Envy & The Superior Nationalities. I met a guy once, who convinced me and a local friend of mine that he was Hamid Al-Falasi, the same family as this local friend. He even introduced himself to a police patrol as Hamid, when they questioned us all for being out so late. It turned out he was an Indian with a severe personality complex. The office he claimed to have in Bur Dubai, was actually his house; where he lived with his fully Indian mother & step father. When you ask a Palestinian, who has obtained a UAE passport where he’s from, he’ll tell you he’s an Emirati. When you ask an Indian, Arab, or non-Canadian who has obtained a Canadian passport, where he’s from he’ll tell you he’s Canadian. The question “Where are you from?” is not the same as the question, “What passport do you carry?” I just can not comprehend the obtuse lack of patriotism and self-respect so many people here have.

With all of the gripes and bitches, you know what bothers me the most? It’s the general hygiene of people here. One too many times I’ve turned my head in traffic only to see the guy next to me digging in his nose, or opening his car door to spit. I’ve entered too many elevators that absolutely reek of body odors so over-whelming I’ve almost vomited on numerous occasions. I’ve seen too many women use public toilets and leave without washing their nasty hands. And too many women in this country, who obviously spend hours painting their faces, walk around with visibly un-washed, oily hair. Just last week, I saw a girl I’d assume to be around eight years old, pissing in the parking lot with her mother standing by, only 3 fucking steps from the mall entrance; if you can make it that far you should be able to wait another minute; or as a mother you should make your kids go before you leave the damn house. And finally, and this one tops the cake, I’ve come across a public bathroom in Citicenter Deira, smeared in so much menstrual blood, you’d think a bloody massacre took place inside.

There a hundred and ten things any person can find to bitch about. If you’re going to do it, at least think of something new to bitch about.