Portable Potties - Traffic over Coffee

As most already know, I have one hell of a drive to and from work each day. Most days, I don’t mind and after breaking down and completely losing it for a while, due to traffic, I’ve come to peace with even that. Today, was one of those days where the road entertainment didn’t seem to stop. I’ve decided to give you a visual of my morning and how it went.



Since I don’t give a shit about my job or this company anymore, I decided to sleep in this morning. Around 10am, I had my first cup of coffee in my living-room. (Notice the Ikea furniture, I hate that fucking place, but always end up furnishing my house from there)

I left my house around 11.15am. Something exploded prior to me arriving at the roundabout in the industrial area in Sharjah, turning cars into mini boats heading in the opposite direction. As I already mentioned to CG, I don’t stop and hold up traffic for the sake of photos or anything else when I can manage, so this (like all the other photos here, doesn’t give you the best view), but it’s at the end of the 100meter long pool, that’s meant to be a 3 lane road.



Kind of ironic, considering all the news coverage of water shortages in Sharjah, just now, wouldn’t you say?

Though I hadn’t the mind to take a photo, I approached your regular traffic on both Garhoud bridge & Sheikh Zayed rd on my way in. During about 150meters of which, I watched the guy in front of me, read what I can only assume were legal documents giving the fine details of his future inheritance, (as they were important enough for him to be reading while driving) through his side-view mirror. Who am I to talk? I was sipping on a latte with vanilla, I picked up at the petrol station in Garhoud.

Free at last I closed the phone with Sam, to smoke a cigarette and drive as only Tainted does (and not even she should).

By this time, the coffee had reached my bladder and I needed to pee.

I entered Airport Rd in Abu Dhabi and exhaled, because history has taught me that Abu Dhabi is a much smoother place to drive than Dubai, and usually reaching that part of my journey means I’ve just got ten or so minutes left before I reach my office.

Shocked! I come across rather nasty traffic that could only be caused by this:



Yup. That’s a poor photo of a car, on the meridian facing the wrong direction. Sometimes, I wonder about the laws of physics when I see such things, and just how it’s possible that wreckage ends up the way it does.

Getting by that traffic, I find the ‘Dubai Attitude” of driving seems to have made its way to Abu Dhabi, and everyone is in a mood. Or could it be my teeth are starting to float and I’m losing patience, due to my dire need of a bathroom?

I reach that last stretch to my office, consisting of just 3 traffic lights when, as patterns should go, I encounter MORE traffic.



Notice the light is green? I sat stationary while it changed at least three times before was able to move and I saw the cause of the traffic. I know it’s not clear, (back to my NOT HOLDING up traffic rule), but that lovely red car, has just been smacked by the bus behind it.

Just two more lights to go and I should be able to park my car, and open my office:




Yes, this is my maxima, and yes this is a seemingly legal way to park in Abu Dhabi, since none of these cars ever get tickets.

But as we all know, for tainted, it never rains just a little. There must be a storm. At the lights, just before my turn-off… You guessed it! More Traffic! Caused by ANOTHER accident!



At exactly 2.37pm I finally made it…



And now, I’m at my desk, enjoying my third Cup O’ Joe.



Any gamblers wish to make bids on what my drive home is going to be like tonight? It seems as though I’m on a role! Even better, anyone know how much a portable potty might cost me?