Thursday, July 20, 2006

I can not help but wonder…

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What are we teaching our children?

Last night, I dropped my parents off at the airport. They’re headed back home to Canada for three or four months. While I drove, my mother explained to me that my sister was impatiently awaiting her arrival, because my 15-year-old niece had finally agreed to accompany her to visit with my mom, her grandmother. My niece has spent the greater part of last year as a juvenile delinquent. She’s run away from home, quit school, and taken to drugs and most likely even sex, as she’s run off with a 19-year-old known drug dealer; her boyfriend. My niece has evaded her mother and even ignored police requests that she return home, ever since. My sister, her mother is a good woman; a good mother, who also has twins at the age of two to raise now.

The last time I saw my niece was just a year or two ago. She’d come here to vacation. During her stay, she constantly reminded me of the promise I’d made her years ago that I quit smoking; she even brought the paper she’d made me sign, when she was just a little thing, saying I would quit. Her biggest interest in life while she was here was getting on the quads and screaming through the desert dunes. My brother, who is also back home now, currently describes her as a druggie. Whose fault is this?

My mom went on to tell me that she intended to visit with my niece and nephew to my other sister, but that my father wouldn’t be joining her as he didn’t want to deal with the stress of seeing their parents. You see, for the last three years, these children both under the age of eight, have been playing musical houses, between their drug-addicted, alcoholic father, my hypochondriac, cheating, completely insane sister, and one careless social-home or government allotted home after another. At present, they’re both with their father. These children are almost certain to grow into something dangerous to both themselves and society. And none of it is their fault.

My thoughts for the children go beyond the current wars; go beyond the terror that Iraq, Afghanistan, Mumbai, Occupied Palestine and Lebanon are facing on a daily basis. My thoughts for the children reach those who are aware of these events and those who aren’t. And I’ve been stuck in these thoughts for the last few days.

Since my son is currently with me, I’ve watched him closely for the last few days as these thoughts festered in my mind. He’s just three and I couldn’t even start to guess where he’s headed in the future. But I’ll tell you, I’m scared. Perhaps I’m just paranoid. Perhaps he’s just a boy and all boys are in love with guns and violence. Perhaps I should have shouted louder or made a bigger fuss when my ex-husband first bought him a toy gun, or first allowed him to watch a violent movie. Perhaps, there was nothing I could do. But my son is in love with violence and he’s just three-years-old; too young to even know what violence really is.

These days, I’m thinking about the children; what they’re exposed to wherever they are, what we’re teaching them whoever we are, and what we should or could be doing to protect their future.

Photo’s taken from Gulf News


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What prompts or drives (some) children to tread the wrong path? Are parents to blame? My heart goes out to all those children whose tears I see in those images. I would if I could but I can't so I won't except pray with all my heart that soon this madness is over and they lead ordinary lives without any nightmares of what they've seen or endured. May God Bless these children, grant them the wisdom and protect them from every danger. Amen.

9:00 AM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Harsha said...

This particular picture of the girl in the end.

It kinda disturbed me.. I was just thinking about what their parents were teaching them.

'As soon as we kill all these people in lebenon, we're going to be at peace and have our land, and God will be really happy with us'

so they go on and scribble support mesgs on the missiles.

what kind of kids are even allowed to touch missiles?

As for your son, if you dont like the toy guns, you could always substitute it with toy cars.

10:11 AM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

Louis, as do my prayers and hopes. And all the misguided children growing. Children are not at fault for any of their atrocities, it’s the parents or society, or something they’ve been taught. They don’t have it in them to be evil until they’re taught it somehow. At least that’s how I feel about it.

Harsha, I’m feeling the same way about the children writing on missiles. Even if the claims are true that some reporter handed them the pen and told them to write, there are soldiers in the background of some of these photos. Why were they ALLOWED to do it?

And as for my son, it’s a lot easier than said. For starters any attempt I try to take away such things, gets vetoed by my ex & his family. Even if I removed these offensive items from my home, they’d still exist in his father’s (where he spends half his life). He’d just learn to resent me for what I don’t give him and his father does. Second, his determination to play with or watch violence is something of a force for a three year old.

10:47 AM, July 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but I wouldn't trust that picture of kids writing whatever it is, on those missiles. How can a civilian let alone kids be in the vicinity of such deadly weapons?

11:58 AM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


Where would they get a fake missile; with a fake tank & soldier to boot? Are you suggesting these are digitally altered? I’ve seen a few different shots of this in the last hour, while browsing blogs. I highly doubt it’d be possible.

Not only that, it’s Associated Press. If we can’t trust these photos as authentic, we might as well start screaming conspiracy theory concerning just about every fact we learn and every photo we see, anywhere in the media.

At least that’s the way I feel about it.

There are military camps by the way, where civilian families live with their soldier fathers or husbands.

12:25 PM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

The last pic disturbed me extremely. When children are raised to be indifferent to violence, and to feel and wish for death of others we are raising a future army of people with undeveloped hearts.

2:15 PM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Destitute Rebel said...

Its Sad but children do have access to areas with deadly weapons, I'm not surprised the the girls are writting on heavy artillary shells, they are probably daughters of some military officer ingrained with hatred for the "enemy" since their birth.

2:36 PM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Destitute Rebel said...

louis, how many pictured do you want of kids near and on weapons, may it be tanks, planes, missles, guns, mortar, artillary or for that matter bullets. Children do have more access to these things that you can imagine.

2:38 PM, July 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not condone what is happening in Lebanon, please do not get me wrong for I have very close friends stuck there from whom I've not heard since this fiasco has started. Whomsoever has taken and floated that picture has done so with an inferior/ulterior motive of inflamming emotions in these tough times. I am sure there is always a limit, even in journalism in what can/not be published/depicted in the media. Whatever maybe, I only pray that it ends soon and no more suffering is forced upon innocent human beings.

3:45 PM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Hot Lemon& Honey said...

Hi TF...
I got an email a day ago with really ugly pictures of victims in Lebanon, alot are kids.
This last picture is just sick, and I wonder how much publicity it would have gotten if it was "a terrorist kid" doing the same.
In the American Psychiatry Association this meeting in Toronto, I attended a talk about terrorism and Islam, I must I felt paranoid for weeks after that.

TF...although some research talk about increased violance in children who watch it on t.v, my younger brother played with toy guns more than anybody I know and t.v was not sensored then...and he is such a sweet don't worry....just watch him play with other kids and see how he does

4:30 PM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


I don't think anyone is attacking you for your opinion, it's just that to me and I'm sure to other's this photo is more than believable. Actually I did a google search and found a baby girl on top of what looked like a cannon or the barrel of a tank with a big Israeli flag in the background. I couldn't open the page because of the proxy, though.

Anyway we're just sharing our thoughts on the same. And I'm personally already aware of your friends there (you mentioned a while back) and my thoughts are with them and others always.

Relax, I know where you stand in this. And I'm sure others do too. ;)

And HL&H, thanks again for your kind words. I know you're probably right, but I can't help but feel paranoid. It's a mommy thing, you know!

5:15 PM, July 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I appreciate your understanding. For what it's worth, I just got an SMS from my best bud in Liban. Of course after I barked my head off, yelled at him at my highest decibel over the phone for putting himself in the mute mode I was glad to hear that his Boss in Brussels has set up a temporary pad for him and his family. The thought of celebrating this news came to my mind but then another thought (attributed to big brother conscience) countered it and I've put my plans on hold until at least this whole thing mellows down. I'll just have me a Guinness that's been chilling in the fridge for some days now. This is to you Bud, to you and your family and for the countless unknown - may they be safe wherever they are. Cheers.

7:30 PM, July 20, 2006  
Blogger BuJ said...

hi there tainted... interesting blog u got.. u changed the layout dramatically.. anyway that pic with the israeli girl writing on the weapons is disgusting.. i wil post more about it later

thnx also for popping up at my blog so quickly after i have re-surfaced. thnx for the supports.. and lo and behold i got 2 joshuas without even inviting them.

on a different topic.. why does it take me 3 clicks to get to the comments section where i can write? am i missing something?

12:51 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


Welcome back...

And you're more than welcome. I'm always checking your blog, as I am all of the ones on my list. ;)

And I think the two click thing is all of us... but three? I'm not sure... My layout works kind of the same way as Keefieboy's it seems. I didn't realize when I put the skin up that this is how it'd work.


8:30 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Seabee said...

Lots of discussions about the photo and thanks to samuraisam we have links to an Israeli blogger who tracked back to the photographer.

The photos, she confirms, are genuine but she goes into the background leading up to what the girls were doing. It goes without saying that the kids were told what to do by the parents.

It frightens me for the future that kids - whatever their nationality, I'm not biased against any particular nationality - are having hatred for others instilled into them. It means the cycle of hatred and violence will never be broken.

6:19 PM, July 23, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

I feel exactly the same way Seabee... exactly the same way.

6:45 AM, July 24, 2006  
Blogger Brn said...

I agree that the picture of the Israeli children writing on the weapons is disturbing. But after reading the whole story I also cannot honestly say that if my family had been shelled by Hezbollah, I might not feel exactly the same way.

And just for balance, the Arabs are not exactly innocent in this area either. Try Googling "Palestinian child abuse" if you want to see equally horrifying photos. Again, as a human, I cannot say that I would not feel the same way as those Palestinian parents if I were in their situation either.

3:08 AM, July 25, 2006  

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