Friday, July 21, 2006

Paintballing Crap Drivers on UAE Streets

I’ve long since decided the best way for someone like me to deal with the ever increasing crap drivers on our roads is to keep a paintball gun handy. I’d love nothing more than to shoot up the numerous bastards who piss me off, and know that I’m leaving a mark I’ll be able to identify the next time I cross their paths.

Actually, I once half-heartedly enquired about where I could buy such a gun here, but I got sidetracked, as I most often do. Perhaps if I knew the punishment in the UAE would be similar to this one handed out in Ohio recently, I’d have more motivation to actually make this little fantasy of mine come true?

I’m all for shooting up the shitty drivers with multi colored paintballs. It’d beat UAE’s ‘naming & shaming’ calls, as other drivers would know on spot who the dickheads are; at least the dickheads as defined by Tainted.

I’ve a couple of questions for UAE residents.

1) Do you know where I can get my hands on a paintball gun?

2) What do you think the criminal punishment would be if I did go shooting up cars that pissed me off?

3) Would you join me if I were to make this a campaign?

4) And finally, would you find a paint-splotched car a significant warning for you as another driver to stay away from the offender?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Want to know reason I don't drive? I got a shittier temper & attitude especially when it comes to morons that're drivers. What do I do? Have my friends drive me around town, take a cab or for that matter drive when these morons are snug in bed. That's what you ought to do instead of paintballing crap drivers & avoid getting yourself in trouble kiddo! Try it out, you'd save some bucks in the process.

1:22 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

lol majnoona Tainted :)

1:28 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


That's all fine and dandy, till I gotta go to a shop or something that's only open in the day...

You know, things like work... and stuff.

SS... Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone!

5:17 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Parv said...

A girl after my own heart. You've put into words what I've been thinking for the past 4 years. Where do i sign up?

8:28 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Destitute Rebel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:36 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Destitute Rebel said...

Paintball guns and paintballs can be bought at the sports shop near Zahras at city center. I dont know the legality, but you already have some good lawyers so try it out and let me also know how it goes - I'm staying away from risk taking- I tried a camera flash on a cop car - ended up in bur dubai police station for 1 hour waiting for the cops who had conficated my camera.

11:47 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


Lady... Why is it I had a feeling you'd be one of the first to join me in this?

And DR... Thank GOD it was only an hour! LOL! Did you get your camera back?

1:21 PM, July 22, 2006  
Blogger MASS said...


just not so random question
were you a bully when you were kid ? :P


1:50 PM, July 22, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...


I'm still both a kid and a bully... :p

2:15 PM, July 22, 2006  
Blogger purchasewoods said...

That had me laughing. Had a mental picture of you driving around taking careful aim.

Please don't get yourself put in jail. Over here I reckon they would arrest you for some seriously stupid charge. If they could find a cop in the first place.


2:19 PM, July 22, 2006  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

laart... (because it's shorter than purchasewoods!)

I love you, but woman, you've been listening for way too long to my stories about police in the UAE! LOL!

YOU CAN FIND THEM THESE DAYS! Everywhere. Giving people like me tickets, and being assholes about it!

2:24 PM, July 22, 2006  
Blogger Razaldo said...

Just yesterday in office I thought of a very novel way of venting out my rage at office collegues (I might write a post on that sometime).

Here's how I would do it -

Everyday to office, I will carry with me a tango football (the type that leaves your face red and pink on contact).
Whenever someone pisses me off, I get them to stand facing the wall. Then I proceed eleven steps back, keep the ball down, take a short run up and whack the ball on that part of their body where they think from.
In even more extreme cases, I would hit their head from the front, so that they see the ball coming as well.


I know you really hate football, Tainted. So sorry for bringing that to your blog.

But I think paint guns would do no justice in this case :P

11:26 AM, July 24, 2006  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home