Thursday, August 31, 2006

Egg-Run & House Shoes

Yesterday, we ran out of eggs. This is a very rare occurrence in my house, because we usually get them fresh daily, form the chickens outside. Recently, I’ve been told the weather is too hot for egg collection, something I find odd since it’s cooling down now, but won’t argue with.

Off my son and I went to the supermarket. For the record, I’m not the type to dress up to the nines and plaster my face with makeup for a trip like that. I don’t push this on my son either, so we both left in flip-flop, house shoes. In the car, my son saw a pair of his ‘outside shoes’ on the floor where I’d forgotten them the night before as I carried his sleeping body from the car to bed.

“Mama!” He screamed at me, “Why am I wearing house shoes?”

“No problem baby,” I couldn’t help but giggle while I said it.

“But Mama! You’re wearing house shoes too!” He responded quickly, and was unimpressed with my cheerful, nonchalant reply, “What will the boys and girls say?”

“Baby!” I glanced over to see the serious look in his eye. The boy wasn’t joking one bit about the serious nature of this problem, “Who cares what the girls and boys think? Don’t worry about them.”

“No. The boys and girls will say you’re not beautiful.”

And that’s how the conversation ended. How do you teach a three year old away from vanity, and where in the world did he learn this in the first place? Does this say more about the nature of the UAE than I’d like to generalize? I don’t remember caring what people thought about how I looked, before I was at least ten or eleven years old. I don’t even think I had inside and outside shoes as a child. In Canada, bare-foot was the way we pranced around when the weather permitted it.

UAE is very much a plastic place where appearance is everything. I’ve believed this for a long time, but what I didn’t realize is that it could affect our children from such a young age.

And you bet right if you put your money on my baby putting on the outside shoes before we entered the supermarket, and not the house ones he had on his feet.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Precious Plastic

If in your Travels… see a woman, wearing a HUGE blue, plastic flower ring on her pinky-finger, despite all the social-fashion laws in the UAE, be aware that you have been graced by me, and the gift my son gave me today. He insisted it’s for me to wear outside, and not inside the house. I will oblige (until it breaks).

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A Brief Look @ Bipolar Disorder

A few posts back I posted a silly little test in my blog about whether or not you’re Bipolar. Though I’m pleased to see it’s gotten some light-hearted responses, a combination of some of the responses and a few emails I got, made me realize that not everyone knows exactly what Bipolar Disorder is.

First I need to point out that Bipolar people are in no way abnormal in their ability to function properly in society. We can manage ourselves just fine, but in many cases it takes us a little more effort on our own parts. Chances are if you yourself are not suffering from Bipolar, someone you know or love is; whether they know it or not. For this reason alone, it’s good to understand this illness.

The cause of Bipolar Disorder is still widely unknown, though biological evidence proves that people who suffer this disorder, are lacking a neurotransmitter in their brain called Serotonin. Serotonin is responsible for regulation of mood, sleep, sexuality, and appetite. There are cases where Bipolar is believed to be hereditary and there are cases where it’s purely induced by personal social factors. There is no history of Bipolar Disorder in my family.

I was 17 or 18 when I was diagnosed with as Bipolar in the American Hospital in Dubai. I was diagnosed through the least suspected person; a General Doctor I went to see for a fever I had been suffering for two consecutive days. I remember waking up the day prior; literally hearing a voice in my dream that was so loud it actually woke me. Clearly, this male voice commanded me, “Your life is about to change.”

It freaked me out. I was in the midst of the RAK cases I’ve mentioned prior, my parents were traveling, and I had spent the months prior slowly isolating myself from anyone, everyone and everything that wasn’t work related. I was broken hearted, as I’d lost the first love of my life in the months before. I had moved out of my parent’s house and I lived alone. Prior to this isolation, my phone would ring non-stop with invitations, my house was always full and I had a healthy, fun-loving social circle around me. During the months I spent ignoring calls and brushing off friends, I didn’t even realize that I was secluding myself from the world. I’d go to work, then strait home where I’d clean then watch TV or attempt to sleep until the next day. More often that not, I'd find I hadn't slept at all by the time my alarm went off the next day.

The voice stuck so deep in my mind I couldn’t help but believe it. Wondering what could possibly make my life change rapidly, I started to think the only possible outcome would be my parent’s sudden death. I literally started freaking out. I didn’t know what my parent’s flight-number or even airline was, but I started frantically calling all of them, to try and get information on whether or not their flight had crashed. I then called the Canadian Embassy and asked them for help finding them. I was completely paranoid & unstable. The paranoia hardly had a chance to fade when I started smelling fire as if my apartment-building was burning. I searched for a source; I looked out the window and doors and I couldn’t find a thing. I had lost my mind, and I realized it. Finally, I sat and placed my head in my hands and started to cry my eyes out. It was only then, that I realized my head was burning up.

Satisfied with the belief that a fever can cause all sorts of illusions and knowing that being physically ill adds to emotional turmoil (that I was aware I was suffering thanks to the cases and perpetual threat on my life), I was confident enough that nothing had happened to my parents and that nothing was on fire, for me to take a shower and head out to work. I was in my office for about two hours before the fever became unbearable, and I was questioning all my colleagues whether or not they smelled fire too, before I made my way out to the American hospital for a check up. The first doctor I saw was a man, and he was unable to help me. When I refused to change into a hospital gown so he could physically check me, he wasn’t pleased. To this day, I feel this was inappropriate of him in the first place, as I’d been to that section multiple times and never once had I been asked to remove all my clothing and put on a gown for a check up. He told me I had nothing more than a slight fever and prescribed Panadol, before suggesting I take rest for the day.

I don’t remember how the rest of the day went now, other than, that I continually smelled fire. I do remember ending up in the very same hospital the next day, with the same complaint only to learn I wasn’t suffering any fever at all, and nothing was physically wrong with me. Of course, it was a different doctor this time.

It was then, that the Doctor started asking other, unexpected questions of me. Was I suffering any stress? Did I socialize? Had I been sleeping well? What was my family life like? Was there any history of emotional disorder in my family? She explained to me that Serotonin levels would reduce due to excessive adrenalin, thanks to stress. Eventually, my body simply stopped making Serotonin all together, thus the many reactions I was having. I remembered then, about a week prior when I was in car driving and I was so certain that there was someone following me from my RAK accusers side, with intent to kill me I almost crashed into another car, hysterically calling one of the only people I knew I could trust in the situation I was in at that time. The doctor explained to me that I was suffering a nervous breakdown. And she put me on two meds, Buspar & Seroxat. I was given three or four days sick leave from work, as the meds were expected to allow me to catch up on the sleep I’d lost during the months prior. I spent about 4 strait days sleeping, without realizing I hadn’t even eaten and probably made my way to the bathroom while still asleep.

When I woke up, it was like a weight had literally been lifted from my shoulders. But that didn’t last long. Before I knew it, I was walking empty. I’d switch from long periods of feeling as though my emotions were forced into a bottle with no release, times when I couldn’t shed a tear no matter how much I hurt, to raging emotions both good and bad I couldn’t contain. I’d have periods of emotional pain, unexplained that wouldn’t allow me to sleep or eat, and then period of pure bliss that allowed me to live as though I were in a dream, for just as illusive reasons.

I have spent the last 7 or 8 years dealing with my disorder. I’ve been prescribed multiple medications, with varying results. Many of which are addictive, and more detrimental than the disorder itself is. Most Bipolar people also have highly addictive personalities. Unfortunately, I’ve lost all confidence in the metal health professionals here in the UAE. From my medications being added to without any proper answers on to what I was taking in combination, to being given medications that literally made me hallucinate only for me to read that they were meant for patients with psychotic disorders and not emotional ones, to having working medications switched because the UAE had run out of the one that I needed, to being given meds that forced me to gain 4 kilos in less than a month – which can only serve to depress a girl all that more, and which I still haven’t lost, to finally over-dosing and chopping up my own arms (something I never imagined I’d do, and know I’d never have thought about were it not for the meds), I realized I needed to call the ‘psychological health professionals’ in the UAE and the meds, quits. I’ve lost all faith in this industry here and you would too. In fact, I’d like to become one because I believe a good one is needed more than anything else in this gleaming country.

Anyway, this is my personal story of Bipolar. Just about anyone who suffers this disorder will have a different story, but similar emotions. What I think the most important thing people who don’t know about Bipolar Disorder need to know, is that we feel things both good and bad at more passionate levels, and on further reaches of the emotional poles than people who don’t suffer this disorder. For these reasons, we’re overly dramatic, because to us a small pleasure that one would normally feel, becomes ecstasy and what should normally cause a regular disappointment feels like pure devastation. What you might feel through the diagnosed sickness of a loved one, we might feel as the death of that very same person would feel to you. What you might feel from a flirtatious remark from a stranger, we might feel as a marriage proposal, with champagne, carriage and all. What winning a thousand dollars might feel like to you, may feel like winning a million to us. Learning to control these emotions is the struggle of each person who suffers this. We need to learn where to draw the line between what we should be feeling and what we’re forced to feel thanks to this chemical imbalance.

I’m all for meds when it’s the initial treatment. But after a year or two, I don’t believe Bipolar people should continue to use them. For the most part, meds stopped me from feeling anything at all. They truly created a soul without a heart, and feeling that everything you knew you should be feeling was bottled up and unable to escape and knowing this perpetual feeling won’t stop until you stop taking the meds, is just as bad for me as being in perpetual emotional pain or believing you’re indestructible. You start trying to make yourself feel, though over dramatic actions, because you don’t want to feel hollow anymore. Imagine, an artist unable to paint or write because there’s simply nothing there… Like a poet who’s run out of ink, or a painter who’s brush is broken. I believe it’s healthier and better for bipolar people to learn about their disorder and learn to cope with it than to stifle everything into a pill. I'd rather have a canvas with excess paint and multiple brushes, or a pen that splotches ink all over the page than none at all.

For those of you inclined to feel pity for us, I beg you not to even go there. If anything, many of us will feel pity for you, because we’ve felt highs like no other. We’ve lived moments when we truly believe we’re indestructible, thus allowing us to take greater risks and experience greater excitements. We’re living the best dramatic film you’ve ever watched, and we know it’s there for the rest of our lives. We’ve got a lot more to smile about than you’d probably ever imagine. And for a great part of the time, we’re smiling wider than you’d assume. Just ask anyone who knows me, personally.

In the meantime, if you’d like more information on Bipolar Disorder, please take a look at these links:

General Information

Family Doctor
NIMH:Bipolar Disorder
Mayo Clinic

Tests this page offers links to a number of health/psychological related tests you can take online. Of course, for accurate answers you must see a physician.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Thousand Thoughts…

A thousand thoughts have been running through my brain and a thousand times they’ve been cut-off without completion. A thousand moments have been wasted on empty spaces in the center of my mind.

A thousand is a funny number. And it’s inaccurate just the same.

There are a few things I’d like to gripe about, but the energy is no longer there. There are a few points I’d like to make but they’re too blurred in my own thoughts to create anything coherent in writing.

I realized something this morning… I really just don’t care right now.

A bitch is a bitch and she’ll always be that way. A good deed gone unnoticed will be rewarded just the same. And both work vice-versa. So why care?

Monday, August 28, 2006

This is a Surprise, isn’t it?

You Are 100% Bipolar

You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life.
Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder.

Thank you AD for sending this my way, but I’ve learned nothing new from this, now have I? Come on guys, let me know what you all get. It’s short. It’s easy. And my results are dead-on.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

For the Love of UAE

For the Love of UAE

Watching the UAE change as rapidly as it is, is disheartening for many of us who have been here a little longer than a few years. Though there are many positive aspects to these changes, the negative ones tend to engrave deeper emotions in our hearts and more profound thoughts in our minds.

It’s getting harder and harder for me to defend the UAE as whole-heartedly as I found myself able not so long ago. I don’t blame the influence of negative blogs or media for this as much as I do my personal experiences, lately.

The most common ‘bad’ that get highlighted regularly are traffic woes, inefficiency of so many different areas in this country, incompetence with things that should be first rules like customer service, racial discrimination and censorship. In the midst of all these ‘bad’ the ‘good’ that still exist from way back when, or that are transferring to ‘good’ from ‘bad’ go unheard of. I decided to outline some of those goods that I see (partially influenced by a suggestion I received via email the other day):

Good from the past that still exist:


  • In the UAE if you sit in any coffee shop and watch any table of people regardless of nationality or religion, you will still be sure to see more people arguing that they are the ones to pay the bill and not the company they’ve enjoyed their coffee with. For many of us here, paying the bill is a way of showing you’ve enjoyed your time with your friends, and this generosity still exists today as it did when I first came. There is a stark difference to the common ways back home of ‘going Dutch’ – or only paying for what you yourself have eaten and the way the UAE society pays bills, or arguing that it's not your turn to pay.

  • You will not often find people eating or drinking alone, either at their homes or in public restaurants. If there is company, more often than not it’s considered down right out rude to quench thirst or hunger while your companions aren’t offered (sometimes even forced) to enjoy the same. I have never been to a home in the UAE, that I can remember where I wasn’t offered a drink almost immediately upon sitting down, and again this is regardless of the nationality of the host(ess).

  • It’s often that personal tragedies, accidents or medical issues that can not be financially afforded by the victim are brought to the public’s attention through the media. Just as often, you’ll notice that the UAE public manages almost every time to provide the needed charity that specific person is in dire need of.

  • It’s very rare that I lend out my car and it’s not returned with more petrol in it (and often even professionally washed) than it had when I offered the keys in the first place.

  • Not once have I been asked to pay a quarter for a bummed cigarette, and not once have I asked someone to make the same exchange while bumming one of mine.

These are just some of the things that come to mind when I think about the over all generous nature of the UAE society. People aren’t forced to behave this way. And contrary to arguments I’m assuming will arise because of these comments, people here are not as well off financially as many foreigners would like to think, and many new expats here still believe. Simply read any local newspaper’s letters to the editor, or follow any UAE based blogs and you’ll see that thanks to the rapidly increasing cost of living, many of us are suffering financially.

Women’s Rights:
In many ways, the women in the UAE have more rights than they do in the west. I can hear the screams from many already for this one, but…

  • There are women-only salon’s and days at public parks and beaches. For many Muslim women and many non-Muslim women alike, these places and days become a blessing when we’d like to go out without wanting to deal with being hit on by strangers of the opposite sex. In addition, for modest or Muslim women who don’t like people seeing us in any state of undress, the women’s day at the beaches or clubs, allow us to still enjoy sunbathing, swimming and/or jogging while being comfortably dressed for the activity.

  • From my experience and what my lawyers have told me, it’s virtually impossible for a father to win custody of a young child during divorce, unless one of three or four major sins can be proven beyond doubt – all of which would prove the mother unsuitable to raise children under any circumstance(s). Since my ex husband tried just about everything during the nastiest time of my divorce proceedings, from accusing me of committing adultery to accusing me of theft in a bid to win custody and I still won, I’m confident that this is the truth. I’m sure beyond doubt about this. I am aware that UAE laws states the child will be given to the grandmother on the mother’s side if the mother remarries and the father insists, and to the father once the child reaches a certain age. But I’ve also been informed that at that certain age, the decision is left up to the child and not the law alone. At the end of the day, if the father and mother can work things out while being civil with one another, the law isn’t going to stop them.

  • Alimony and child-support aren’t an option when it comes to payment. From what I know, an ex refusing or failing to pay either, will end up in jail. Refusal to make such payments and not suffering any consequences is far too common back home.


  • Taxes. I can hear the woes about this one now too, but the fact is we’re not paying taxes on every item we purchase from a supermarket or store as we do with GST & PST in Canada. We’re not having our salaries deducted by the government with each pay-check as is done in so many other countries around the globe. No resident of the UAE has to do annual income taxes that I know of, according to UAE law. I personally don’t think the arguments that hidden payments or fees required for this government service or that one are the same as tax. If you own a company and need government documents, you need to pay for those services. Those of us, who don’t own a company here, don’t have to pay for your services. Tax to me is the Canadian law that states even though I’m not a resident there, I still need to pay annual taxes on everything I make here to support free education, road works, health care, etc. that people back home take advantage of while I use none of the same.

Anyway, these are just some of the things that come to mind just now. I was intending to write a bit about the ‘bad’ that have changed for ‘good’ and vice-versa but I think this entry is long enough now. Maybe I’ll get to that another day.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Bravo Costa Rica & Bravo El Salvador

Bravo Costa Rica & Bravo El Salvador

Today, I was finally able to watch the documentary linked in Buj’s blog, about American News propaganda and the Palestine/Israel conflict. Not only did it make a lot of sense, I agree with Buj and all the people who made comments there who said this film is a MUST see for just about everyone. Please do take a look at that link. Whether you agree with my belief’s that American media is one of Israel’s greatest propaganda machines or not, by viewing this video you’ll have an idea of why the American public is widely considered dumbed-down* by their own media by the rest of the world. It’ll give an idea of what other’s think and why we think it. It’s worth a look.

*I read that ‘dumbed-down’ term somewhere, but can’t remember where.

One of the main points that video touches about the American media and the way it conceals the truth is through omission of important details needed to understand the base of the conflict. The most important of all is the ‘Occupied Territories’, which according to the documentary are systematically called ‘Jewish Neighborhoods’ instead of Jewish Occupation Settlements. Neighborhood is a peaceful term, Occupation Settlement isn’t.

Anyway, these widely ignored truths are finally getting recognition. On August 17th, I wore a smile from ear to ear over the news that Costa Rica had decided to remove it’s Embassy in Israel from Jerusalem (Occupied Territories) to Tel Aviv, in a move to correct a wrong made in the past.

’"It's time to rectify an historic error that hurts us internationally and deprives us of almost any form of friendship with the Arab world, and more broadly with Islamic civilisation, to which a sixth of humanity belongs," Arias said at an event marking his first 100 days in office.’

This move left El Salvador as the only country with an Embassy based in Jerusalem, for Israel. Today, the decision has been reported by them as well to leave the occupied territories for Tel Aviv.

‘Franciso Lainez, El Salvador's foreign minister, announced the decision on Friday that would see his country follow the example of neighbouring Costa Rica which said last week it would pull its diplomatic mission out of the disputed city.’

It’s not really a wonder that the Israeli public is turning against Olmert, is it? My bet is, if Israel didn’t handle the capture of two soldiers by destroying an entire country and murdering countless civilians, they’d not be losing the political stance they enjoyed for so long. You can argue that no one won the most recent war in Lebanon, but I’ll gladly believe all the innocents killed during this war were martyrs, who died for a greater cause and a greater step closer to true peace in the Middle East, and I’ll pray that God grants them all eternal bliss.

I also tried to watch the much talked about “Syriana” film today, but damn that movie starts off slow. I fell asleep.

*I should mention here that all the news links are from Al Jazeera English, and for some reason I always have to refresh the page on that site before I can actually get the news. You might come across the same 'error' notice I do with the first click. Just refresh and you'll get the link.

British soldiers beating Iraqi kids

Can it get any worse? These are Iraqi kids.

Proof of how Stoooooopid I am.

The below entry, I wrote about 2003… it was in fact 2005; February 2005. As that friend just reminded me.

My memory for date sucks that bad… I have NO sense of time.

Friday, August 25, 2006


In the winter of 2003, I went to Serbia to stand by my best friend as she delivered her first child. Since, she’s moved on and away to Egypt. It just so happens that on the 7th of September, she’ll be back in Belgrade for the sake of changing her work permit in Egypt (if she decides to stay working there she’ll only be in Belgrade for 10 days, but I’m not so sure she’ll go back). I’ve booked my ticket for the 8th.

This is photo I took in 2003, of the view from her bedroom window in Serbia.

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It looks real pretty for those of us in the desert, but I assure you it was hell on earth. Temperatures below freezing made it impossible to think about showering first thing in the morning. Government restrictions and control on household heating meant you would freeze to death when the government decided it was time to turn the heaters off and you would roast when they decided to turn them back on. I was told I should shower with socks on by my best friend’s 80-year-old grandfather, and I was told I needed to drink a shot of Brandy before brushing my teeth each morning, and should carry a bottle with me everywhere to insure I wouldn’t freeze to death. I can’t remember the exact temperatures now, but it was fucking cold. So much so, that that very same grandfather kept food on the balcony instead of in the freezer to preserve it.

The pure depression of the society in that place was like nothing I’d ever seen or could have believed existed. About two weeks after I arrived I saw the first smile on a stranger’s face and actually jumped up and hugged him, making my friend snap a photo because I was so happy to finally see a glimpse of happiness in public. I still have that photo, but since I’m in it, I won’t be posting it here. I was assured by locals it was the winter that did it to people. In the summer time, Serbia is a happy place. I find it hard to believe, but I’m about to find out. I’m also going to see my best friends baby for the first time since she was born. I can’t wait.

Maybe Taunted can help me, when it comes to what Belgrade is like just now. I believe he’s just come back from there.

There aren’t any tickets available back home until after the 15th of September. I’m afraid that may be too long off in my case. I don’t know that I trust the hospitals there, but my friend has assured me that there are really good private ones, far better than the government one I saw (where medicines were not available but had to be brought in from outside by the patients), and the treatment I need is available. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone yet, but it’s pretty much confirmed… I’m going.

In the meantime, my son has refused to go to the school tomorrow with his father unless I go with him. It sure feels good to know that your baby still wants you, especially when you know that soon enough he won’t want my hand at all. I need to get up early tomorrow to accompany my ex husband and my child to the school. I hope he’ll be alright on his first day, if I’m away for it. Then, my ex husband is off to look into getting a new nanny and a new maid. Hopefully, I’ll hold my temper if I see either of these women tomorrow. The more I think about what they may have exposed my son to, the more I see my self beating the shit out of them both.

Pity the maids…

…my ass.

Blame the UAE law…

…wrong again.

I learned something new yesterday. I learned something new about the UAE law that I’m sure a lot of expats aren’t aware of. It’s how much control you actually have when it comes to some of those laws you’re all so against.

My ex husband called me up yesterday to tell me the police raided their house at 2am; specifically the maids room. Inside, they found a naked man hiding under the maids bed. You see, my ex father in law, saw a man sneaking into the room when he called the police to report it.

Both the maid and the man were sent to the police station. Here’s the funny part, no case was opened and neither of them have been punished. In fact that bitch is currently working as normal in my ex’s house. Why? Because my father in law chose not to open the case. Despite the police intervention, the choice was his. So, for all of your bitching the UAE laws are too strict in these cases, have comfort in knowing that should it be against someone you sponsor, the choice it up to you and not the UAE law.

I’m more than pissed off about this incident, because though my nanny was with my son here at my house when this happened, there was a night three or four weeks ago when the same guy was seen knocking on the maid’s bedroom door only to be caught (I suppose it’ll help if you all knew this ‘man’ is in fact a mentally retarded distant family member thus the easy access to the house), to which my nanny played stupid, “Why is X knocking on my door?”

She attempted to play stupid when the police caught the other maid too, but that was all ruined when I took her mobile and well, the aforementioned man attempted calling her three times while the phone was with me. So much for innocence.

Now my personal problem… Since my divorce I’ve been fighting with my ex and his family because they allowed my son to sleep in the maid’s room with them. Up until now, they’ve ignored my protests because well, 1) my son likes to sleep with the nanny for some reason and 2) everyone else in the main house would rather not take the responsibility of waking up with him at night to go to the toilet.

I don’t give a shit what this maid or even my nanny does when it comes to relationships and sex. I do give a shit if my son may have been witness to this sort of crap. And since the guy attempted to get into the house (we’ve since learned the bitch maid left the gate open for him when she expected he’d be coming), when my nanny and my son where in the room just a few weeks ago, I’ve got no reason to doubt he was expected on that night too, and was only put off by the fact that my sister-in-law saw him in the yard through the kitchen window and questioned him before he had a chance to get in.

I’ve been promised over and over again, my son will NEVER sleep in that room again. If they don’t follow through with this, I’m not so sure I’ll be as kind as I have been when it comes to sharing custody anymore.

I believe both these maids need to go. This time, it may have been a distant family member, next time it could be a strange man these women are sneaking into the house in the middle of the night. My in-laws don’t seem to want to do that. The one who was caught owes someone money and needs to work it off, the nanny who ‘takes care of my son’ is needed something I don’t agree with at all. I can handle my son without a damn nanny, why the fuck can’t they?

Anyway, there’s a few things to be learnt in this. 1) If you don’t like the punishments, at the end of the day it’s up to you whether to push them or not in these sorts of cases, and 2) even the maids you sponsor and treat well aren’t always trustable.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Whole World is Dumb

This morning I woke up and decided that the entire population of earth, including myself, is stupid beyond belief. I care not to explain this thought, but would rather have you all draw your own conclusions about it.

I have little to say right now, except maybe warn my readers that it looks like I may be taking off to Canada in a week or two for a week or two. A few unexpected medical complications have come up and I’m not sure if they can be dealt with here, in the UAE.

If by any chance I disappear without warning, remember this entry.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

VOIP Petition for the UAE

I’m probably late to post this (as I first noticed it yesterday in the news), but for everyone (in the UAE) who hasn’t already, please do take a look at and sign this petition.

Whether you believe it’ll do something or not, it’s worth giving it a go. From what I read today, this petition is speaking a lot and has been brought to our ‘service providers’ attention, and they are considering changes at this time. Though, of course, that could be misleading language. Whatever… it’ll take less than two minutes to sign and it’s worth giving it a go.

UAE VOIP Petition

Maybe this time something will be done? There's got to be a first for everything, no?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Breeding Paranoia…

Lets all assume for this entry that every human being, despite nationality, religion or culture is pure-hearted and innocent. Let’s assume we all have our own insecurities, fears and our own limited knowledge.

I remember coming to the UAE at 14-years-old, and seeing two ‘brown’ men in my garden less than a week after we’d moved in. I ran to my father’s room and woke my parents up, “Mom, there are a couple of Arab’s in our yard.”

It turned out, the men were hired Pakistani gardeners that our sponsor had arranged, neglecting to inform my father before-hand. They were not Arabs, at all. My eyes were not yet accustomed to the subtle differences of facial features between Arabs and Asians.

For the most part, I was more curious than scared of the two men in our yard. Had I been taught through media and the likes prior to this time that Arabs were to be feared; had I been subject to images of Osama Bin Laden’s filmed threats against westerners, the massacres of reporters in Iraq, I’d have probably been a little more alarmed than I was at the time.

It’s common even now in Hollywood block-busters (the worst movie ever produced is the only one that comes to mind with a name, so please don’t mind the reference), that the parts of Arabs are played out by Asians, or Asians played out by Africans. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to determine the difference. In the worst movie ever made (one I must recommend every adult sees if they haven’t because it’s really that bad and you’ll never forget the urge to vomit while needing to watch it till the end thanks to curiosity about how bad it can possibly get), “Freddy Got Fingered”, there’s a scene where father and son end up in Pakistan. The Pakistani’s are played by actors of African origin, and not Asian. If great numbers of the public could decipher the difference, would the most reputable film-makers around continue to do this? Granted, this is not the best movie to use, since it’s not in any way going to believed by a soul watching, but there are many, many out there that I’ve noticed just haven’t managed to retain.

Now the western public is terrified of Arabs thanks to the ‘war on terror’ among other terrorism, that highlights the horrific deeds of terrorist organizations, the Al Qaeda clips, the alleged Asian hijack attempts, and other such images. Every innocent, pure-hearted soul would eventually accumulate a certain amount of ‘rational’ fear thanks to repeated images or terror always at the hands of a certain skin color, or profile.

It’s not surprising that they’re unable to see the difference between Asians and Arabs. I couldn’t at one time. It’s not all that surprising that they all get generalized, at least not to me. As a repercussion to this, we have the proposed implementations of stricter airport security based on these generalizations; proposals that draw a very thin line to blatant racism. We have anyone speaking a Middle Eastern language, wearing a beard, or even looking slightly abnormal to the western eye, a suspected terrorist in airports. A Canadian doctor was pulled off a Canadian plane recently, for praying in Arabic. A bearded man was prevented from boarding a flight. The stories like this from this week alone are countless.

Paranoia has started to breed.

In response, the Asians and Arabs, being as insecure and innocent as we agreed to assume we all are at the start of this entry, have no choice but to feel persecuted by the whites. Eventually, it’s in human nature to generalize all whites as holding a grudge against all colored people. Asians and Arabs become as paranoid and untrusting of westerners based on this generalization.

Paranoia continues to breed.

It seems to me like under the guise of globalization, peace seeking, and adamancy to stop racism, bias’ and generalizations, the world is heading towards greater divides, greater generalized hate for one another and more terror based on our own insecurities.

Middle Easterners are scared or persecution. American’s must be scared of terror. Is there a place on earth were a soul could feel truly secure and away from possible terror attacks? And would you lacking a certain amount of paranoia no matter where you are, make you as gullible as the New Yorkers were, or even Lebanese were prior to the catastrophic events that showed them terror surrounds us all, everywhere?

What would you rather be; gullible or paranoid? And does either one make you safer?

Reoccurring Event?

Though I’m still waiting for her reply, Irene has popped back into my inbox with a number of images she thought I’d like to share, and I’m thinking this may become a constant, inconsistent event in my blog from here on out. I do think these sorts of things, make for a nice little change to the way my blog usually reads. And, they give most everyone a reason to smile.

Despite my growing reputation around here, I do enjoy seeing and making people smile. And most people find that in person, I’m one of the more cheery people around. So, with thanks once again to Irene, I present to you:

Coffee Anyone?

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How about a comparison? Actually, I’d seen an interesting clip a while back that shows how much these two have said that do actually mirror one another.

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And I don’t personally like guns nor do I believe we should have the right to bare ARMS, but here’s some safety tips for those of you who do.

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How’s that for the lightest entry ever in Tainted’s blog? You all think this should become a regular-type addition around here?

Monday, August 21, 2006

Just hormones?

Knowing my son will be in school within the next two weeks; trying to make him feed himself (because he’s too lazy to do it, not because he doesn’t know how he just prefers to be the ‘baby’ forever it seems); watching as he proudly puts his own underwear and pants on after going to the bathroom, I can’t help but think I want another one.

I don’t know that I ever really wanted to have more children. I hated being pregnant; I was always sick. I hated labor; it was induced and very painful. Just over a year after I delivered him, I divorced which resulted in me spending countless hours away from him because UAE law denied me the privilege of taking him out of that house. Ever since, I’ve felt I screwed my son’s life up at the very beginning simply through being absent for so long. I hate the guilt that comes along with those thoughts and feelings.

I’ve never said a bad word about his father to him or in front of him, and I trust that his father has done the same. I’ve never allowed him to dwell on some of the not-so-nice memories he retains of spousal abuse he witnessed prior to and during the divorce, and sometimes still brings up out of the blue. I fight constantly with the ‘life-lessons’ and the different ‘ways’ to raise a child between my in-laws and my own, and at times I feel those efforts are useless. But he’s well behaved, nonetheless.

I never thought I’d do it again. But all of the sudden I have this incredibly-strong maternal instinct that makes me want to drop whatever I was considering of my future before, run off and get married again, and have another baby.

Maybe, it’s hormones. Maybe I’m just trying to replace the baby I feel has all of the sudden grown into a little man and will soon refuse to take my hand or hug me in front of his friends. Today, was the first day I told him to come give me a hug and he said he was too busy with him video game, he didn’t want to come. Maybe, I’m just thinking too much?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Doing the ‘Mom’ Thing…

I picked up my son on Friday. The maid/nanny and his father tell me that he refused to even visit the school he should be attending come September, with them. He doesn’t want to go and I don’t blame him.

If my memory serves me correct, we don’t even think about school for our kids until they’re four or five-years-old in Canada and many will start as late as six. Preschool is something different, meant for the children to learn to socialize and possibly offer parents some off-time in a land where nannies are far less utilized than here.

Anyway, we’ve chosen an English speaking school that’s based on the ‘American’ system for him. And he’s agreed to come take a look at it today so long as I and the maid/nanny go with him. I don’t imagine the American system in America is much different from the Canadian one, including starting age. Maybe an American or two can help me out here.

I’ve spoken to the school a number of times concerning a number of things, the top of that list is my sons inability (or better put, will to speak English over Arabic). He understands, now, most of what you say when you talk to him in English, but he prefers to reply in Arabic. Anyway, during the course of those conversations I was told he’ll get his ‘books’ for the year at the end of August.

How many books does a three-year-old need? I can’t even make him sit long enough for me to read a book to him before he’s pointing at this pictures on the page and telling me what they are, what they look like or that he wants one of whatever fictitious toy he sees. Are they really considering teaching academics at this young age? I’m curious to know how other parents feel about this one, and if it’s a similar system in your perspective countries.

To me, 3 going on 4-years-old is too young to be given homework.

Anyway, in addition to that I want to say that I’ve found yet another change in the UAE I’m not happy about. Yesterday, my son and I went to buy him a goldfish. I needed a few things from the supermarket and his hair was looking a little shabby at the same time. Taking him to the salon has always been a nightmare because the boy acts like every slice of hair removed is in-fact an extension of his head that will cause severe pain and suffering should they be cut off. He agreed to get that done yesterday too, so I was left wondering only, which baby salon to take him too?

I hate driving all over the city to get errands done and since I promised him the goldfish the night before, I couldn’t skip that errand for the sake of sake of doing the rest. Suddenly I remembered where I’d seen a supermarket, baby salon and even goldfish stand person in the same place; Union Coop on Al Wasl road. I hadn’t been there for years, but yesterday it seemed like a blessing this place existed.

The first thing I noted was there was no more baby salon. They’ve closed it down. The second thing I noticed; no more fish. (This one would have been perfect because it ONLY sold fish as far as I can remember and I wouldn’t have to deal with him begging for cats or squirrels in addition).

We ended up buying the detergents and a few coloring books before heading off to Animal World on the beach road (not very pretty for all the hype, I must add); which only had goldfish that were suffering from that ‘white spot’ disease, fish die so rapidly from. So much for not driving all over the city. He never did get his hair cut. I ended up buying multiple smaller fish to make up for the one I promised him but we couldn’t get our hands on. I’m not even going to state how much they cost, but suffice it to say I was shocked.

I’ve had pets my whole life. I’ve bought fish all over this country. And I shouldn’t be shocked at the increasing prices even there. I will say spending approximately 800% more than you expected to pay for a few fish is a perfect example of just how much the cost in the UAE really is increasing.

Anyway, I’m doing the mom thing and since my baby should be starting school next month I’m spending even more time with him and paying more attention to making sure he’s having as much fun as possible during the last few free days he’s got in his life before he starts the 8am to 1pm, moving on to the 9am to 3pm and finally being thrust into the 9am to 5pm (or 8am to 8pm as many here actually do have it) we all know as life and responsibilities. For this reason, I’m not around here as much as I’d like to be. Forgive me for not keeping up with my favorite blogs for the next few weeks.

UAE Blogger Explanation Please

Please READ the bottom notes. They’re VERY important.

What the hell?

A while back, Psamtani sent me to a piece of writing I can only classify as the most worthless waste of time ever. Naturally a piece of writing deserving of that description would have to belong to Khaleej Times.

At the bottom of this rubbish, which was meant to be about loneliness and suggested the best cure was to read a book the author asked for feedback. Below, you’ll find what I sent him, followed by his response.

The original link is now dead and I can’t be bothered to find it in the archives and direct anyone else there, since it’s really that bad.

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Can someone please help me with this response? I can only assume SD wrote something about it and this author is under the impression that I read SD’s blog. Professionalism is stunning in this ‘publication-organization’ and they’re proving it further and further with every action.


I don’t even know how to correct this one! If people knew how to NOT reply to old and irrelevant emails (in this case an email I forwarded to Psamtani after sending me the link, to show him my response), to explain something a little more recent maybe I wouldn’t have made such a fool of myself.

LOL! See me placing the blame for my lack of reading on Psamtani and/or everyone else? My apologies to Galadari & Khaleej Times. The paper is still shit, but they didn't send this response.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Out of Curiosity Mr. & Mrs. Jew

If the Galilee is rid of all its current Arabs as Ahmed has quoted the Chief Architect of the State of Israel saying here, will Israeli Jews make it a home for non-Arab Jews only? If so, where do the Arab Jews get to go?

Boycotting Israel?

Many Muslims talk about boycotting Israel and Israeli products, even America or American products. I don’t necessarily believe the Muslim’s doing this will change much for Israel or American’s international powerful positions, but I do understand and accept why a boycott is adamant for Muslims on a personal level.

Muslims are meant not to add to terror in any way. Muslims are not supposed to support terror; directly or indirectly. Muslims who do such things know they will individually be punished (by the only One who truly can punish us) and are meant for our own sake as well as societies to support peace and only peace.

Muslims are instructed to stay away from the things that are unclear to us, as well. So if the acts of Al Qaeda, Hezbollah, etc. make the issue of who ‘peace-seekers’ actually are unclear to you and I, shouldn’t we recognize that all the innocents who have suffered at the hands of them are in no way more important than the innocents at the hands of America or Israel? If you and I are confused, should we not support any of them?

This point was addressed to me in a conversation over on Secret Arabian**. I understand and am even compelled myself to support Hezbollah and deny Israel and America the same support because of recent atrocities and my belief of ‘when stuck between two evils it’s best to choose whichever seems less evil’. This is still pondering in my mind and I do have a blatant bias on the issue because of it. I’m sure many of us do regardless of which side we stand on. But I am not physically or financially supporting Hezbollah or Al Qaeda and I never knowingly would. I see many of their actions as disproportionate to the atrocities that I believe Israel & America inflicted on the Muslim nations first. But I also believe that they are fighting (albeit, in a less than efficient and desirable way that often causes Muslims more trouble than we’d like to admit) for the sake of protecting Islamic freedom, morals and culture – as is rightfully ours. The same thing could be believed for Israeli’s or American’s, who insist that their disproportional responses to terror they’ve felt at the hands of Al Qaeda or Hezbollah (which also cause America and Israel more problems than they’d like to admit).

I am not consciously boycotting Israel or America at present. Though I’d been given these links and warnings before, the point never really struck until I read the Fatwa’s from multiple Imam’s from what I believe are multiple sects of Islam, including both Shia and Suni. I believe, somewhere in Islam it’s believed that if all educated Muslim’s agree on one point, it is true and thus I believe I should be making effort to boycott as instructed here.

I have a Nokia phone; actually I have three of them as I’ve never cared for any other brand. I used to drink Starbucks coffee almost daily, and the only products I’ve ever used on my child were Johnson & Johnson. I’m not running out the door to resell my phones in order to buy a different brand. I’m not throwing away what’s left in the bottles of my child’s toiletries. These were purchased before I made this conscious decision and before I knew they were supporters of Israel; I will get whatever is left out of them and will not purchase them again, it’s that simple. I will not drink Starbucks coffee. I will not buy another Kitkat bar, I will try my hardest to avoid the products that are listed on this page, and I will check the background research done to verify the claims that these companies are supporting Israel.

I’ve heard all the arguments from those who are against boycotting, saying it’s useless because things like the Internet or Intel (pretty much necessities) would have to be boycotted as well and we’d lead ourselves to ruin as a nation. At the end of the day, it’s an individual choice to make; what is a necessity and what is not; what we believe will make our challenge intolerable and what will benefit us in the long run. Personally, I believe the internet should be exempt, simply because leaving the world wide web Muslim free, means we have no voice to partial and non-partial users.

I do not expect non-Muslims to fully understand this and I’m well aware that many of you look at us as the terrorists. This information is not necessarily meant for non-Muslims unless they’re willing to question with open minds and accept that I’m the last person who will claim to have all the religious answers. And I would appreciate any thoughts from better educated Muslims on this, corrections if I’ve misrepresented anything here and welcome all to discuss this topic.

For now, here’s that link again, Boycott Israel, which includes Fatwas, explanations and research information and resources to assure that Muslims are boycotting what they are for the right reasons, according to their choice based on information provided and not just the list of products without any background information.

**I noticed in the comments at Secret Arabian someone asked me which Imam I follow, and I hadn’t answered. I don’t know. I’m pretty much a self-educated Muslim who has chosen the Sunnah is the right path. I have not studied different Sunni sects to determine the differences and decide on a single one. I have studied the history of Islam through the Quraan, Hadiths and multiple religious writings, though during that time I failed to note who was writing and what for which sect. Since I found few (possibly none other than things like, some Muslim’s believe touching a member of the opposite sex breaks wodhoo and some don’t) discrepancies in the many things I’d read on and off-line, I’d not have guessed that they were written by different scholars. Sunni’s in different sects must have more in common with one another than Christians of different sects because had I noted the same discrepancies, I’d probably not have reverted. I became Muslim based on the concepts of core Islamic belief and I’ve not fully applied those beliefs (other than the five pillars of Islam – which all sects abide by) to every aspect of my life.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Ability to Write & Ability to Spell.

Symphony… You Inspired Another Google!

As I was saying to Symphony here I’m amazed by the number of people who believe that spelling abilities have huge impacts on writing or language comprehension abilities. I noted in those comments that Stephen King can’t spell worth shit (and he’s got to be one of the most famous fiction writers or our time), and since I know there are many others like him I thought I’d look it up.

I first found an interesting article on why people choose not to write called 10 Myths on Learning to Write.

Myth number five from that list is:

5. If you can’t spell, you can’t write
Oh, yes you can! Good writers first write all their thoughts and ideas. Then they revise, revise, revise until they’re satisfied they’ve said what they want to say. Then—and only then—is it time to edit for spelling and other rules such as capitalization, punctuation, and word usage.

I wonder if people who put so much emphasis on other’s lack of spelling abilities realize that maybe that emphasis is influencing and preventing another potential writer who isn’t as confident in their spelling as some may be, to never pick up a pen and paper.

I can’t spell worth shit, but I don’t believe that makes me a bad writer, nor do I believe I lack language comprehension skills, since I know what I mean and what other people mean when they or I use words like, ‘they’re’ misplaced for 'their’, or (as more recently pointed out to me) ‘porthole’ instead of ‘portal’, as I’ve done in the left column of my page.

I appreciate it when people point out my errors and if I have the time or will, I do correct them. But even if I don’t, (as I’ve not yet for the column here), I make a note and learn from it. But I’ll never be a great speller. I read tones. I learn the correct spelling of a word and then I quickly forget it. I actually remember asking my 2nd year IGCSE English instructor to pay special attention to spelling in her classes, because she’d pointed out half way through the year that I’d constantly misspelled ‘maybe’ as ‘mabey’. She was one of the best instructors I ever had, actually. Anyway, on to those authors (far more recognized than I) that I wanted to find and point out.

Here, you’ll find the author Steve Hendrix write in his column, for the Washington Post why he can’t spell worth shit.

Here Doctor Who, a UK(?) based publishing house emphasizes that spelling abilities in a submitted piece of writing obviously won’t get a fantastic writer rejected, but writing riddled with errors, obviously not checked through with a spellchecker are tremendously annoying and do show lack of professionalism:

’Annoying spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes don't create a good impression. (Jac adds: if you're a fantastic writer, you won't get rejected because you can't spell, obviously. But, we're looking for professionalism in a synopsis, because that indicates the writer is going to be professional overall. And if the writer hasn't bothered to spellcheck, or hasn't found out about the basic rules of grammar, that's not very professional.)’

I’m probably about as shitty with grammar and punctuation as I am with spelling, but I do use a spell check, and I do try to revise and edit any grammatical errors I see. I highly doubt anything I’ve written can be legitimately seen as ‘riddled with errors’, though I’ve got my fair share. And besides, me, like many writers around here, have no current interest in getting published. If people are still reading what I write, I must have at least some of what it takes not to annoy them so horribly they can’t possibly force themselves to read another word! I must somehow be a good writer.

Here, Stephen J. Cannell, the author of multiple books(bio in the link), ends a question with reference to his active support of people with Dyslexia by saying:

’Obviously, I make my living as a writer, something many think a dyslexic can't do. There is a big difference between writing and spelling. I can't spell, but who cares?’

I doubt people purchase his books or publishing houses publish his work, to the extent that he makes his entire living through his writing because they feel sympathy for his condition that makes him unable to spell. Nope, I’d say it’s because he’s a good writer despite of his inability to spell!

Here, you’ll find a whole page on the world’s most famous bad speller, Benjamin Franklin. Granted, Benjamin wasn’t known for his writing abilities, he did at one time own a publishing house despite his lack(?) of writing abilities due to spelling, he loved reading and writing:

’As a child, I loved to read, write, and collect books; so when it came time to choose a trade, my father decided I would become a printer.’

His love of the written word also inspired him to open the first library in America:

’Through my suggestion, we started a lending library that was open to everyone. We would pool our money and buy books, which people could borrow.’

*~Quotes taken from the Benjamin Franklin site linked above.

That’s a lot of effort put into the literature world for someone who couldn’t spell, if you assume bad spelling equals lack of language comprehension skills isn’t it?

Here at the site, ‘So You Want to Be a Writer’ outlines the bottom line (and one more recognized author who can’t spell), as far as I’m concerned when it comes to spelling and writing abilities:

’ Now, if a book is absolutely brilliant, it's going to get bought anyway. Raymond E. Feist can't spell worth a damn, but nobody cares, to name one example, because his books make the bestseller lists after they're cleaned up. It's worth the expense of hiring a copy editor. (Which is what happens. The in-house editor doesn't do the cleaning up; a freelance copy editor is hired to do it.)’

And here, you’ll find a publisher notes on the book, “Accomodating Broccoli in the Cemetary, or Why Can’t Anybody Spell?”. This is an entire book that takes spelling just as it should be taken, light at heart and comedic when possible, for authors and readers alike. The publisher opens his notes with a quote that struck me:

"It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word." -- Andrew Jackson

Martial Arts: ‘Warning’ verses ‘Threat’

If someone trained in martial arts used excessive force against someone who attacked them, I believe* they’re legally responsible to warn the aggressor that they are trained in martial arts and can inflict more excessive damage than the original aggressor thought, prior to using it. Only after and if the aggressor continues, does this use of martial arts (that unknown strength) become legal. Therefore the aggressor being warned of consequences is NOT being threatened, but being warned to make sure they are aware of consequences they will face, should they choose to continue baiting.

I’ve been in similar situations where I’ve chosen to warn my aggressor prior to using whatever available weapons I had to defend myself and luckily, in most cases I’ve found that by doing so I’ve managed to stifle an issue before it gets way out of hand and relinquish any future aggression. I’m astonished to know that this has been received by some as me threatening them with my hidden strength.

Go on and try to tell me (or yourself) that I’m using the ‘self-defense’ plea for all the wrongs I’ve done to people. I most certainly am NOT referring to every single conflict I’ve ever had, and I most certainly HAVE been the aggressor my fair share of times. I’m simply not talking about those incidents just now. But I’m sure there are enough of you who believe me to be delusional enough to actually think all of my attacks would fall under the legal definition of ‘self-defense’, blah, blah, blah, fucking, blah… So I thought I’d make that clear before you make up more proof through your selective understanding to solidify your preconceived belief that I’m the Antichrist.

*I’m not sure how accurate that belief is about legally informing an aggressor that you’re trained in martial arts. I’ve never done any research on this and all I know comes from either media or television shows & movies. But it’s been repeated enough times, I’m pretty confident it’s a realistic belief. Please do correct me if I’m wrong, but even if it’s not a law, wouldn’t it be another one of those morals martial arts enthusiasts are famous for since it's repeated so often?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Just a wee little, tiny problem…

Don’t be too surprised, I've got another one!

This one is funny, actually.

Last night a friend of mine calls me up to ask about certain medicine the doctor had given him. Since the doctor didn’t explain really what his problem was, he figured he’d ask me to look it up on the net and maybe we’d find out what was wrong.

The medicine was called ‘Inverma Largo’.

The first thing I did was Google it.

Imagine my surprise when my search turns up pages & pages of this:

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I check and recheck the spelling. I try just the word ‘Inverma’ and then just ‘Largo’. I try adding ‘medicine’ or ‘prescription’ or numerous other words before I decided I’d had enough; I’d check the images and see if I couldn’t get a description of the ‘cure’ the doctor offered and friend what I was looking for through there. Google Image search shows pages & pages of the same item photographed, so I describe it to him and ask if this was it:

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“Yes!” It’s got a pink sort of box around some of the words, and ‘Largo’ is written in Yellow”?”

I couldn’t stop laughing. And now, you’re smiling too. Only in UAE hospitals can you go in for a rash and come out with penis-enhancing, aphrodisiac cream! Today, he’s going to a private hospital.

Oh Anonymous! Have you not yet learnt?

You know, I’d have thought I’d ranted enough throughout this blog about what I think about feel about anonymous people making comments, especially those that are controversial or provoking of anything other than kindness, but for a change I’m going to give your average anonymous twat, the benefit of the doubt and assume they’ve not yet seen these posts rather than assume they’re that daft, and I’ll point them to all the posts rants on Anonymous commentators here:

Lick baby, Lick!

~*March 29th, 2006

Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

~*April 2nd, 2006

I’m a Bitch. Learn Something New Now.

~*July 6th, 2006

In addition to these, I’m going to add a little something new, now. When you come into my blog and blatantly attack me and someone else who had already been attacked by a specific person I happened to be fighting with and you leave whatever ‘for’ or ‘against’ remarks you leave anonymously… Do you think you’re doing someone a favor?

When your opinion mirrors and almost attacks virtually the same person (sure, with a few typing differences, but who can’t alter the way they type?) who I’m currently debating with, and who has proven to me time and time again how easy it is to avoid the IP showing on the stat counter while making comments, you only make it easy for me to presume they’re the ones posting as anon. How in the world does this help his stance, or your own? It doesn’t.

And you’re calling me a bitch means just about as much to me as me asking who your mama was fucking while she should have been raising you to create such a spineless thing with no knowledge of English Language expressions or the term metaphor, should mean to you: NOTHING. Why? Because you don’t care about me! You needn’t care about my opinion of you. Maybe, just maybe if I knew who you were, I’d have the tiniest bit of respect for you or your opinion and what you thought of me would matter. But as Anon, you don’t get that privilege.

Think twice dipshit, before taking your anonymous high-road here again. As I already pointed out to you, I don’t believe in freedom of speech. There’s only so much I’m going to accept from the likes of you. I will delete your comments if you annoy me enough.

In the meantime, thanks for keeping a debate going in my blog and increasing my site views through the shit attempt to stir. But honestly, I don’t need or want your help there.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The third…

I sent a message to the boy. He replied, “I’m in a small accident. I’ll call you soon.”

I’m sure no one is hurt, or he’d not have called it small. But that’s the third. Should I be confirming that superstition?

***Edited to add…

So he called just now. A truck smashed into him while he was stopped. I asked about the second accident, it was a truck/car accident too.

3 deceased.

3 accidents.

3 that involved those big trucks.

The boy says he wanted to let the guy go because there was no damage and his family was in the car, but the driver refused to accept blame, even before the police arrived. The driver just got his license and didn’t want to admit that he was at fault, and thus the police made them all go to the police station. I was wondering how it was possible for him to deny it, assuming the damage was on the back bumper the way it sounded, so asked “Which part of your car did he hit?”

The boy laughed, “Not my car baby. Your car. The right side.”

I can’t help but laugh. There’s no damage at all, really. But every person who has driven my car recently has had an accident. I thought it was wearing thin before all of this.

Anyway, maybe my mama’s right?

In threes?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and she’d just received news that something horrible had happened to one of her loved ones. Almost immediately after, she remember the same thing was happening to two other people she is close to. And I added the same is happening to someone we both know. She hadn’t even thought of it, but there go the ‘bad things happening in threes’ belief, huh?

I’m not necessarily superstitious, but my mom is and she believes everything bad happens in threes. Part of the strength in that belief she's got has rubbed off on me, and I can’t help but wonder if the below proves this, since three people are now deceased in two accidents, or if I should be worried about a third deadly accident sometime soon.

Last night I was talking to the boy and he told me he was on his way to a funeral. I assumed it was the one in RAK I mentioned here. He corrected that assumption with, “No. In Ajman! I didn’t tell you? This is another friend who died on the roads in a completely different accident, both people in the car died.” I had no idea, “Tomorrow Inshallah, I’ll go to RAK.”

On a much lighter note…

I’m sure by now we’ve all seen the Bush/monkey comparisons… But have you all seen this many in one shot? I hadn’t and it made me smile so I thought I’d share.

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~*Thank you Irene, for sending this my way.

YaY! New Spam for Me!

I’m sure I’m not the first to get this sort of Spam, but it is the first for me… So, I have to say it’s refreshing to get a new plot to the spam mail. No funds lost or left behind from dead or missing rich people, no bank details requested; just a little link to click and confirm a few orders I (never) made.

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I think I like the email address of the second one best… I wonder if the scam-artists think they’re getting smarter?

The Power of Change?

If we could change the way we felt…

Who would ever hurt?
How many broken hearts could we count?
What human would suffer through mourning, displeasure, distrust, loneliness, anger, sadness, hate or malicious intent?
Who would be unhappy for a moment of their life?

If we could change the way we think…

Who would leave an inch of their brain power left unused?
How many would choose to think with bias, racism, prejudice, or along narrow-minded paths?
What person would choose to think those thoughts that tempt us to what our conscience tells us is evil?
Who wouldn’t really know it all and thus believe they are the epitome of intelligence?

If we could change the way we’re seen in every other person’s eyes…

Who would have another soul think negative thought of them for even a second?
What human would need to self-analyze?
And how many of us wouldn’t be virtually perfect in the public’s eye?


If we couldn’t change the way we react…

Who would decide what a proportional or what a disproportional reaction is?

If we couldn’t change what we allow ourselves to see or hear in any given situation…

Who wouldn’t be on the ‘right' side of the Israeli v/s Arab debate?
What human would have a question to ask in any situation?
And how many of us would know the definition of ‘debate’?

If we couldn’t alter our own perception…

Who wouldn’t see the world through eyes as innocent and pure as a child?
What human wouldn’t have as much faith in all others with the innocent need of an infant in an adult’s arm?


If we could change the things we can’t, and couldn’t change the things we could…

Would reaction really matter?
How would we define perception and/or another’s personality?
What differences would any of us really have?
What rational person could believe there was any point to it at all in the first place?


If all of us could actually learn the difference between what we can change and what we can not…

How many of us would waste time on the things we can not possibly alter?
What human wouldn’t use the extra energy to better him or herself and his or her life, in the areas where they can?
Wouldn’t realizing these things about ourselves make it easier to comprehend the same about others?
Wouldn’t that make the things we can’t change a little less misunderstood and thus a little more acceptable?
And thus, wouldn’t life be a little less a challenging for us all?

***I can’t sleep again… These are just some of the thoughts that run through my mind when it should really be dreaming instead of constructing sentences…

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Compliments of Lizza. The questions suck (I made up most of the answers because mine weren’t there, especially in the first one), but the answers are funny. What do you think? Am I a Michael Jackson? Even better question, WHAT ARE YOU?

You most resemble Michael Jackson

You are different from most people. You dont follow the social norms of the society you live in and live on impulse. You are an easy target for critics, but you dont let their opinions get you down. You are cool on your own terms.

Take this quiz at

Pablo Picasso

Pablo Picasso should paint your portrait. You are a totally unique person. You are usually the first one to adopt a new mode of thought or the latest fashion. Everyone looks up to you. You are friendly and easygoing with everyone you meet.

Take this quiz at

I’m not Really Going Either Way… Yet

I’ve been meaning to share this site for a while now.

S911T is a group of American and international scholars who are disputing the most accepted versions of what happened on 9/11. They are backing their claims up with scientific research and are publicizing their claims as much as they possibly can.

These are not your average-uneducated-biased conspiracy theorists. They put Michael Moore to shame, while defining the pretty similar sentiments that Michael Moore in his movie, Fahrenheit 9-11. These men and women are widely accepted as some of the most intelligent people in America (and internationally), many of which have or have had government positions, or Instructor titles in some of the world’s most famous universities.

Reading through this site and others on the conspiracy theories of 9/11, I’ll admit that I’ve never fully believed Osama Bin Laded and Al Qaeda was behind it, and as time goes by it seems there is more and more evidence to support that belief. None the less, I’ve not decided in full what I believe about 9/11, by any means. I do know it’s a real area of interest to me and I intend to research it further.

I invite you all to take a look at Scholars for 9/11 Truth and the links they’ve provided to give you a wider look into what could and could not have happened during this tragic event.

Amazing Really… Does it Hurt you THAT BAD?

Can’t let it go MD?

From this highly entertaining conversation!

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Care to explain why you litter the end of every paragraph with an emoticon just like someone else?

i also don't understand what's wrong with emoticons? i use it a lot and so does she and so does 7aboob and so does tainted and a few billion others.

Find one emoticon-littered comment I’ve made and point it out please. Do not speak facts that don’t exist. There’s a difference between ‘occasional’ and littering a paragraph.

’ i'm happy to see that u have patched-up with tainted, which is why she's rooting for u, again. i think u should focus on the 'realizations' that u had twice before. i know everything sam, everything, for example - what u frantically searched for on tainted' blog, scared that she might reveal it.’

Could that be a similar thing that Sam himself talked about in his own blog as well? Want to try sly implementations of how evil each of us is MD, really? We can play that game… Just say ‘Go’.

We’ll start with things like, ’ u can just ignore IB and I since u hate us so much. i told u that i will help u get journalistic experience and give u career guidance.’

You’ve told the same thing to someone pretty darn close to me, but up until now only pressured them to tell a certain story for your paper.

And really, if you want to make this about you & I, send me an email. Or, do it in YOUR blog or in MY blog comments – why bring it up here? Why call me a shitty friend here? Are you somehow disproving the points I’ve made in connection to this conversation? Does me being a shitty friend somehow discredit the fact that I kept quiet, didn’t say anything to either of these two having a debate but was put off by a childish attempt to attack, for NO apparent reason? How your attack on me as a friend to Sam, his past ‘realizations’ about me and my horrific morals as a friend here has any relevance to this debate, I can’t see.

By the way, I wasn’t talking to Sam when I 'rooted' for him here, or here. You commented in the first link thus you and I were talking – assuming you KNOW everything about Sam and I, how do you imply I ‘root for him’ him only when we’ve ‘patched things up’?

’i hate it but u guys made me cross it.’

By the way, it’s amazing how often other people make you do things. I’d swear the majority of the population holds a gun to your head from time to time, if I didn’t know better.

And yeah… Since Sam’s post got through the *new* moderation, I can’t help but wonder if this one will? In fact, I think I’ll be posting this in my Blog now, just in case.


And since it’s now here in my blog, where I believe it’s more appropriate to get into the MD & me spat, I’ll also mention something about MD’s comment, ’i wanted u to meet IB because she works for jumeirah intl and was willing to have ur input in their in-house magazine and she could have helped with her other press contacts. but it's a shame.’

Funny, this kind-hearted, willing to help all who want to become journalists also promised a VERY close person to me the same sort of thing. That person, DID get to meet a number of MD’s ‘contacts’ and it’s been a number of months; no job freelance or otherwise has been offered (which was the initial premise of me introducing them) and no help for that matter. In fact, last I heard (as in less than 4 days ago), all that person’s felt was pressure to give MD a certain story that they weren’t so sure about sharing. Luckily for MD, that person still enjoys her company. So I’ve not bothered even attempting to get involved in that relationship. Funny, how MD can't seem to offer me the same courtesy when it comes to my relationship with Sam.

There’s a few other amusing things MD has claimed here. As soon as she says ‘Go’, I’d LOVE to point them out. And they’re a little bigger than MD’s comment, ‘everything has a limit and today, i hate it but u guys made me cross it. i know i will regret breaking my silence (partially) here but it had to be said.’

Compare that to one from this blog entry of hers, and my response to this one (since it was rather obvious she was implying it was me through her blatant bipolar treatment of all those people she claimed to and treated as though she despised prior to my fight with her, including Sam because of the Bershka she claims to have gotten over (a Bershka which definition I didn't even know until MD explained it to me in her bitching rants); until I introduced the two and convinced the woman he wasn’t all that bad, though she still quietly made her displeasure known, and the kindness she then showed them all around the time my spat with her broke out), here. But of course, that one is just like her remark in today’s comments, ’ i don't want to say anything more but i'm being sandwiched between three of u (i'll leave u to guess who the 3rd person is)’. Pretty fucking hard to guess who that third person is, huh?

I’m highly amused by the number of times people make this girl do things! The whole world must have a gun to MD’s head. I'm also highly amused by the 'guess who' implications this woman is always making.

Yeah, I’m in the mood for a bitch rant just about now. Come on MD, give me the ‘GO’ and we can do this. Clearly, you can’t let the issue of YOU & ME go, so lets do it and get it over with, no?

Unlike you, I don’t give a shit what people think of me. You should know that well enough. So throw your dirtiest, whatever you have and turn EVERYONE you can against me. I dare you. Or, take the high-road, don't dignify me with a response and prove yourself the innocent, better, part in the charade of you and I, once again. (I'm sure you can see the sarcasm, yeah?) While taking the high road, be sure to whisper your thoughts about me to as many people as you can in private, kay?

I’m pretty confident in what I know and who I am. Are you? Whatever your answer is, please do realize hun, once this charade is over I'm hoping it really will BE over (as you claimed it was in your very last comment on my blog, yourself). I'm getting pretty fucking tired of you.

***My apologies for the atrocious writing I used in this post initially. I hadn't slept when I posted it. Now I've fixed it, I think.